It’s been a year!
One year ago, my Mom sent me a dental contest on Facebook.
Because my Mom is one of my best friends, she hears all my insecurities,
disappointments, and struggles. She knows all too well how I feel about my
smile. I started to ignore it at first because I do not have time to get my
hopes up and I have never heard of this Corporate Lakes Dental place. A few
days later she asked me about it, again. I kind of blew it off “Yeah Mom, I’ll
look into it when I get a chance.” She mentions there is a deadline to enter so
I shouldn’t wait too long. “Ok, Mom, Thanks.” It laid on my mind so I went over
the details in the post, beginning to get anxious thinking of sharing this
horrifying part of my life that is obviously not a secret but, would take a lot
for me to put on blast to the world. Plus, writing an essay about myself...
Nah, I’m not good at talking about myself.
Over the next few days, it stayed on my mind; the
possibility that this dream is in my reach? I mention it to a good friend, Ashlee, asking what she thought. I didn’t even get the full statement out of my mouth
and she says,” Yes! Yes, I will help you! What do you need me to do?!”. AHHH!!!
My mind began to race and palpitations were inevitable. The thought of now
having to follow through with actually attempting to receive this gift has now
became solidified. What was I thinking?! I should have just ignored it and went
on with my day.
I sat down and began to pour my heart into this letter which
becomes a mild therapy session for myself. I was faced with how I got in this
situation and bits of irritation at myself for being so complacent bubble up. But
also, pride being reassured looking back over the years that I had been able to
put myself aside and ensure my loved ones were taken care of above all else.
That alone made it worth it no matter how miserable I may feel, they will
always know they mean more to me than all else. I erased and rewrote a million
times. Walking away and returning to it a million more. “What am I doing?
You're just setting yourself up to be disappointed. Someone else needs it more
than you. You can just work harder and save up and get it yourself eventually.”
This and many other similar thoughts roll through again and again.
Doubt has completely set in so I start looking for reasons
to NOT finish. I look and see where Corporate Lakes Dental is, and call my Mom
telling her I am not going to make an entry because they won’t pick me, it’s too
far. She insists I’ll never know unless I try. Just do it and forget it- leave it with God. OK, so that didn’t get me out of it. I call Ashlee with the same
it’s too far I shouldn’t try. She gives me about the same statement; "you don’t
know that. there are no stipulations on the post that state anything about what
area it covers." I begin to get anxious again. I lean on Ashlee to read what I
wrote, I know this just has to change her mind and she will then confirm that maybe it’s just not worth it. She tells me that if I do not submit it for
myself, she is going to! With extreme hesitation, I send it in. I do not want
to disappoint my Mom and my friend as they seem to have become very invested in
this idea so, Here We Go!
I low key mention to my husband, Tony, “So, Mom found this
contest on Facebook and I entered, if I win, I will get a smile make-over.”. Why
did I tell him too? He’s now on the excited side with my Mom and Ashlee. What
kind of mess have I gotten myself into? This is crazy! Why are they so positive
about this? There is no way this is going to happen. I go on about my day, it keeps
popping in my mind, so I reach out to a few of my close friends asking if they
would help me win if I were chosen by the team as a finalist? I am greeted by
even more exciting encouragement. “OF COURSE! Just let me know what I need to
do. You deserve this!” Ok, I need to set it aside and welcome my kids home off
the bus, start dinner, sign school agendas, and so on.
*Bing* My phone alerts me I have a new email. It’s from
Corporate Lakes Dental. I suddenly feel very flush and nauseated. Should I open
it? No. Not yet, reading a polite no will still hurt, just leave it. No can’t
leave it, just get it over with like a band-aid. I can’t do it alone. I drag
Tony into it. “Lovie, I got a response from that contest.” (Trying to speak
calmly and breathe through this feeling.)
“And?”, he responds.
“I don’t know,”
I say.
“You didn’t open it?” he questions confused.
“No, I couldn’t.” He can
sense my distress with that statement.
“Girl, what are you worried about, God’s
got you, either you got it or you didn’t and we just move on. Let’s go.”
I open the email.
Dear Lacy, Congratulations, you
have been selected by our team as one of five finalists for our Smile Makeover
contest. Thank you so much for submitting your compelling story and photos. We
are honored at the trust you have already placed in us.
I can’t even
read the rest through my now tear-filled eyes. I cannot believe what I’m
reading anyway. I begin to shake and my Lovie hugs me telling me how happy he
is for me, he is so glad I have a chance at this. I have to tell my Mom. I need
to read the rest of the email. I should tell Ashlee. My head is spinning. I
have to start the email from the beginning to make sure I read it correctly.
Yes, that’s really what it says. I call my Mom and she is overjoyed. I have to tell
her to calm down as difficult as that was, it couldn’t possibly be the hardest
part, I have to get the most votes on social media now. That’s never going to
happen. This doesn’t deflect her excitement at all. I call Ashlee, same thing,
nothing but positivity! At this point, I come to the conclusion that I am either
surrounded by crazy people or they are seeing something about this I am not.
The post is made on the Corporate Lakes Dental page about
the finalists, I share it, and this is where things really start to just be
insane. I am getting nonstop private messages. My oldest is posting about it on
his Facebook. This is my Mom, she is a loving and caring woman she does
so much for other people and lets herself get behind on self-care she really
deserves this hope she wins I love her so much. My little girls are asking
can they get a Facebook so they can help and asking their teachers at their
school to go like it who are then messaging me in support. My church family
embracing me in full hugs and compassion when I go to service, telling me they
are sharing it all over. I pray you win, u r such an amazing and
inspirational woman and I know first hand how "always put others first" is ur motto
ur a beautiful and talented lady and you deserve this for sure. People
I haven’t seen in years are commenting, liking and sharing. She is
close guys we are going to all have to share share share!! Other
veteran caregivers I have never met are being very supportive and sharing their
personal stories with me. As a caregiver and mom, I can relate to
putting yourself last. I really hope you win because you completely deserve it!
My heart is filled and I am so happy I started this journey. Other contestants
are sharing support as they are walking the same road, Your story is
remarkable. I think you so much for your service and all you have done for our
country. You seem like quite the caregiver and it’s about time someone gives
back to you. You deserve it, lovely! However this ends, I’m honored to have
ridden this side by side with you and all the other beautiful contestants.
Before we even know the results, I have a whole new outlook. I am on such an
emotional roller coaster ride and I am just taking it in. I have to shut the
notifications off on my phone because there are so many alerts going off at all
hours. This is not at all what I expected starting this. It is like an entirely
different reality playing out. People are messaging me telling me how they are
following along. Lady! Have you looked at the numbers yet today? I am
losing sleep watching this! I don’t know how you are getting any rest at all.
All of my co-workers with The Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes are
validating why I love this organization so very much, being overwhelming with
support and love. You are such a beautiful person. It radiates from the
inside out and touches many people. I hope that by receiving this chance and we
are all praying you do. It will give you the confidence to carry out the
amazing work you are already doing every day. Love and Laughter you are brave
sharing your story. So proud of you.
Then to add fuel to the fire Corporate Lakes Dental shares
they have a HUGE announcement! Talk about freaking out. I thought I had already
been as far as I could go with that. The anticipation of waiting for that to
drop was even bigger than entering and sharing all this in the first
place. In order to help our 4 finalists, we have partnered with Kiene
Dental Group, LLC, Studiosmile Orthodontics, Henry Schien Dental, Patterson
Dental-Lenexa, KS, Invisalign, Cutting Edge Dental Lab and Implant Direct.
Without their support, this level of help wouldn’t be possible. We are
extremely grateful to our partners. Our top finalists will each receive... A
Complete Smile Makeover!
I am now a year into this journey! It’s not over yet, I am
only halfway there and I have already realized this was more of a blessing than
just feeling better about the way I look. As we are working on fixing my dental
issues, I have already gained so much confidence. But that is not the most
important part. I have rekindled old friendships, made new ones, and realized I
am and always have been my own worst enemy. I am guilty of judging myself
harsher than I should, and seeing myself in a manner that others simply do not
see. I am, and always have been very loved. This journey has brought new light
to that for me. I have always known I am loved but this has helped me feel that
on an entirely new level. I am worthy of taking time for myself. I should not
feel guilty about self-care, in fact, I should be proud to take time for it as
the ones I love so dearly need me to. They depend on me to be at my best even
on my worst day and if I want to be everything I intend to be for them, this is
what it takes. I obviously, did not enter this feeling brave. But, now that I
have, I do feel brave. I walked into my first appointment and felt like at any
moment I would wake up. Since then I have excitedly taken broad smiling
pictures with my babies, family, and friends. I look forward to greeting random
people and hopefully brightening their day with a huge grin. I still feel like
I am in a dream and I hope that feeling never ends because I do not want to
ever take another day for granted again. I look forward to the rest of this
journey and all the lessons that accompany it. To all who have taken part in
providing these lessons, I sincerely do not have the words to thank you enough
for what you have done for me, you truly are more of a blessing than you will
ever know.
-
Lacy Mullen, Veteran Caregiver & Heroes
Thanking Heroes Representative
