Resilience

By: Megan Z., wife and caregiver to double amputee, former HTH representative

This man is the absolute definition of resilience. We got over 12” of snow yesterday and as inch after inch fell, I couldn’t help stressing about how we would get it removed. First thing this morning, he got up, geared up, and started tackling the sidewalks. It took us both almost two hours of shoveling and snow blowing to even get a path to the plow truck. There was absolutely no way the kids were making it to school or daycare on time. It’s easy to forget (because of his incredibly positive attitude) just how hard his life is. Just getting out of bed in the morning is work for him. Imagine how hard it would be to try to move snow that is over a foot deep...from a wheelchair! But there he is, he’s out there doing it... going on almost 4 hours now. Not one single person ever offered or asked if he could use any help. This man is resilience, through and through. Next time I want to complain, I’ll just be looking at my husband. No legs, bound to a wheelchair for life, missing his hand, out in the freezing cold, shoveling and snow blowing a foot of snow so that his family can stay warm inside and not worry about ever getting stuck.... and I’ll think again about my complaints and that maybe, they aren’t so bad after all. To my dear husband Jack, we are so lucky to have you in our hearts and on our team. You are the best example of what a good, hard-working man is. 

Making Memories

So, it’s kind of a crazy coincidence.  Two weeks ago, I was writing about being spontaneous and the amazing memories our family makes. My husband, Robbie, is on Spring Break this week, but I didn’t plan anything because I wasn’t sure what he would be up for.  On Saturday, we threw out a couple of ideas and by Sunday night we had decided we were going to go to Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We found a cabin that had a breathtaking view and allowed dogs so our whole family could go.  We packed up and were on the road by mid-afternoon on Monday.  It started off a little wild because we headed to Gatlinburg without our cabin being confirmed and without an actual address to where we were staying.  It was nerve-racking but we had faith that it was going to work out, and the situation gave us some laughs about how zany we can sometimes be.  If worse came to worse, we were just going to have to find a hotel somewhere that allowed dogs. We were totally okay with that.  We don’t get to spend much time together as a family because of Robbie’s schooling, so as long as we were spending time together, that is all that really mattered. 

We get to Gatlinburg and because it is a slow season, we decided to go down to the strip and check out a few places before they closed.  It was such a small town feel because we asked what time most of the shops closed and since a lot of them are locally owned, the answer was “whenever people stop coming in.”  We enjoyed a nice dinner and then went back to hang out in the hot tub and enjoy our amazing view of the mountains. 

On Tuesday we tried to dress for anything and everything because we didn’t have any plans.  We went to a local pancake house and then set out to see what kind of adventures we could partake in.  We went go-karting, stopped into an arcade, looked around the local shops, our daughter rode a horse, and then we went zip lining.  It was our babies first time zip lining and we were so proud of her! She went on two lines all by herself! We were all exhausted by the end of the day. 

Wednesday was Valentines Day so we got an extended checkout to avoid rushing around. We enjoyed the hot tub one more time after our Valentine’s Day surprises and then we hit the road! We made a quick stop on the way home to see Robbie’s sister.  The trip was short, but so much fun! We made incredible memories!

Celebrating 20 Years of Marriage

Twenty years ago this week, my husband and I said our ‘I Do’s’ under a full moon on a Friday the 13th. 

When obligations to the army requires you to choose an unconventional day to get married, why not make it a good one. We couldn’t be like everyone else and get married on Valentine’s Day. I mean, who does that? 

Every year since then, we have celebrated our commitment to each other and the family we have made in each passing Friday the 13th… just because we can. 

When you have spent the majority of your adult life as a military family knowing it’s not IF, only when the next deployment is going to happen, you begin to find a reason to celebrate. 

This year, twenty years later, we celebrate. Not only for ourselves, but for our family. The ones near and far. The ones we hold near and dear to our hearts that are blood by DNA and by choice because they hold such a special place in our hearts. We celebrate because so many have helped us reach this milestone in our lives and in our marriage. There are ones who we still have the ability to pick up the phone and talk to.  We also have the loved ones who are no longer with us. These are the ones we can’t make more memories with and makes days like today even more special because we know what they have done for us as a couple and how they’ve made our relationship stronger. It is the things they have not only done for us, but what they have done for our children also.

Twenty years ago, I drove half way across the country listening to Savage Garden’s ‘I knew I Loved You Before I Met You’ being played repetitively on the radio. If the DJs only knew the truth behind the words they played in those moments and what we were about to do that would change our lives forever. 

This year, as we drove to the same location where we said those words that changed our lives, we listened together to different DJs playing repetitively Ed Sheeran’s ‘Perfect.’  

There is a lot to be said to knowing each other for 36 years, together for 24 years, and now married for 20. 

-Anonymous, Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative 

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day from our Heroes Thanking Heroes Representatives!

Let Them Be Kids

In January, I went to register my daughter for Kindergarten. I had sent her to Pre-K 3 last year, but since we moved, she has been at home with me.  In Pre-K 3, I could choose to just let her stay home if I wanted to spend the day with her. I could pull her out for an entire week so we could visit family and friends in Ohio if I wanted. But now…Now that she’s in Kindergarten, I can’t just pull her out of school just because I miss her and want to hang out with her! It’s a big stepping-stone in her life AND in my life.  I know she’s only 4 1/2 years old, but it makes me ask myself where the time has gone so fast. I always say that as long as I can have my summers with her, I’ll be fine.  I love to take her swimming; it’s one of my favorite things to do with her.  I love watching how she gains a little more confidence each year, and the new tricks she masters.

Now that we are in North Carolina, there are some schools that run on a traditional school year, and others that go year around.  We are renting and currently considering moving, but depending on where we decide, that could land her in either traditional or a year around school.  That means that every four months, she would have three weeks off.  One of my favorite things about being a kid was having a long summer break, going on vacations, hanging out with friends and swimming.

I haven’t researched it, but I have heard that year around schooling has proved to be more beneficial for the kids.  However, I also believe kids are kids, and we should allow them to be so.  We should give them a break from school, just three months of the year to not have to worry about sitting in classroom, homework and all that goes along with school.  Granted, education is a necessity in this world, especially when we live in a country where most businesses are now requiring a Master’s degree. Am I considered “old-fashion” because I want my daughter to have her summers to swim and play outside until the sun goes down?  Let me know your thoughts in the comments!

Live Every Day Like It’s Your Last

“Live every day like it’s your last.”  An inspiring quote for your day. It doesn’t seem too hard, right? But, if everyone took that literally, nobody would go to work or fulfill any of the responsibilities of life.  I often ask myself how I can actually make that come to pass. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, like I’m chasing a kite called life that’s blowing along with the wind.  Then, there are other days when I feel like I have tackled the day and can come up for a breath of fresh air. In America today, we live life on the fast track.  We carry mini-computers everywhere with us like it’s no big deal and have all the information we can imagine right at our fingertips. Fast food is cheaper and more convenient between the chaos of work, school and any extracurricular activities.

I find that when I have a chance to come up for air is when some of the best moments are made.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.  However, tomorrow is never promised.”  The metaphor of that simple statement became a reality in 2010.  When I received the news about my husband’s injuries, they weren’t sure he was going to make it. It was like time stopped - everything in the past, and nothing of what was to come in the future mattered.  We began living in the moments. As long as he could make it through the present moments, nothing else mattered. 

I often wonder if that experience is the reason I schedule my days like I do and struggle with it at the same time. Everything should be done with intention.  It is suggested to make long-term and short-term goals so I try and do that.  However, how can you live every day like there is no tomorrow when there are still the responsibilities of tomorrow?

This week at church, the pastor said something that really hit home for me… “Take time for your distractions.”  I had started writing this blog but wasn’t sure where I was going with it, or how to finish it. I think it’s becoming clear to me that it’s okay to live intentionally and make goals. Not every day is going to be perfect or fun but it is important to take time each day to do something for myself and spend time with my daughter and husband in between the craziness of life.  It’s also okay to stray from my routine and live spontaneously once in a while.  We’ve had some of the best times just waking up in the morning, ignoring the responsibilities that are still going to be there tomorrow and spending time as a family. There are no expectations therefore the time is purely about being together and making memories. Not every day is going to be a good or memorable one, but I can also choose to be intentional about the days that will be.