New Year, Can it Be?

So for those that are curious what the big surprise was, we took our daughter to a Christmas Eve Redskins game on her birthday!  That was all she had asked for and we kept telling her that we couldn't afford to take the whole family.  She was so excited that morning when we woke her up with the tickets and a banner I had made that said "Spending my Sweet 16 with my Favorite Team".  It was so much fun.  As much as I was sad we weren't spending the holiday with my extended family, it was just as nice to spend the much needed time with my immediate family.  It was great to see her smiling.  She was able to meet a bunch of cheerleaders and get autographs and even got an autograph from Clinton Portis.  It was a major plus that the Redskins won!  So next year I am not sure what we will do for her birthday or Christmas, but this year we enjoyed making some amazing memories and spending the day celebrating her birthday.

 

I find it hard to believe that as I sit here typing this, 2018 is less than a week away.  I am not exactly sure where 2017 went.  My fear is that 2018 will go just as fast. I know many people make New Year resolutions, but not many actually follow through.  I read somewhere that only 8% of people actually stick to their resolution.  Every year I used to make a resolution.  Some years it is to lose weight, after several failed attempts at that I resolved to live a healthier life and make healthy choices with eating and exercising.  I have also made more simple resolutions to journal more and to check things off my bucket list.  Whatever the resolution is though, I usually fail at it.  I normally follow through for a couple weeks,  Sometimes even a couple months, however I always end the year thinking that I didn't succeed because I didn't actually follow through with my new years resolutions.  

 

A New Years resolution is when a person resolves to change a undesired trait or behavior, or to accomplish a personal goal to improve their life.  Sure, there are many things that I could do to improve my life.  I have lots of goals, whether it is to live healthier, or to go back to college, or to travel the world.  I guess I could make a resolution but I hate to do that and not follow through.  I think instead I would rather just set a simple goal to enjoy time with family.  To cherish what time I have with them and make amazing memories.  There is one thing that our time in the military taught me and that is that sometimes life can be short.  People take things for granted.  

 

So what will your goals or resolutions be for 2018?  Whatever they may be I hope you take the time to cherish the little things in life. I've enjoyed sharing with you this month.  I hope that you all have a safe and fun New Years!  I leave you with this quote that I love.

 

 " Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man."  Benjamin Franklin

This Week We Celebrate

So while many are busy getting ready for the holidays this week, in my house we celebrate.  My oldest daughter was born on Christmas eve and this year she will be 16.  I remember when they told me my due date was Christmas eve.  I thought to myself that no one ever has their babies on their due dates.  Well she decided to prove me wrong.  Time sure does fly.  The whole reason my husband joined the Army was to provide a good stable home for his "Princess".  So because her birthday falls on a holiday we try to make it extra special so she feels like it isn't just Christmas, but it is her special time also. 

So last year my daughter started planning this super extravagant sweet 16 party.  We had found a DJ, picked a date, and we had checked out different locations to host it.  I had started to budget to give her this amazing sweet 16 party that she dreamed of.  Then late this summer and early fall I watched my daughter change.  She went from this sweet, caring, fun, smiling teenager to someone I had not seen before.  She told me she didn't want to have a party.  I was so sad for her because I knew this wasn't who she was.  It was almost like deja vu.  I felt like when my husband came home from Afghanistan and he was a completely different person.  I started to question her doctor if she may have secondary PTSD.  he does believe that may be what is going on with her.  It just breaks my heart that my not so little girl is going through this.  It sometimes makes me mad at the Army.  It makes me frustrated that they send these soldiers off to war and then do not do a good job when they return.  It makes me sad that the one reason my husband joined the Army was to provide good for our family and that we get so much pain from it also.  

So I started to try and plan a small little party with a few friends from dance.  I should say that I LOVE to plan things.  When I was planning my wedding I was in college and I really considered changing my major to become an event planner because I loved it so much. I began looking back on all her birthday parties and was able to observe and remember each year and what was going on with our live.  where we were stationed,  If my husband was deployed. and the year he got out of the military and she was struggling to find her place in the civilian world.  I needed my daughter to know that no matter how much she is struggling right now and no matter if she feels alone in the world that we love her and that she has so many people that care about her.  I found someone to make a cake because I didn't want her to see me making one at home.  I made her a money cake since she is a teenager and what teenager doesn't love money.  It all came together with in a two week period.  I was very pleased and hoped that it would cheer her up even if only for a few hours.  So yesterday I dropped her off at drivers ed and went to pick up the balloons and the cake and decorate the restaurant.  I was able to get everything done and looking perfect before I had to pick her up.  We arrived just after 4 to make sure that her friends had a few minutes to arrive.  We got there and she was happy and had a smile and I think she knew that even though she had become distant from her friends during this time that they still care about her.

The celebration is going to continue on all weekend.  We will mix up our holiday traditions with her birthday.  Today I took her and my youngest to see The Greatest Showman today.  Tomorrow I am taking her and a friend to see Pitch Perfect 3.  Then Sunday we have an extra special surprise planned.  Can't wait till next week to fill you in on our surprise.  I hope that everyone has a Merry Christmas!  It is hard to believe it is in less than a week.  

T'is the Season

So yes, I went to the store for those that are wondering!  I actually went out during the snow storm Friday night.  Dance ended early, and everyone in my town buckled down in their homes for a winter storm that we were not expecting.  I took advantage of the 2.5 hours of free time I actually had to get stuff done.  I love snow, and do not mind driving in it, so I went and ran all my errands that I needed.  It was probably the most peaceful trip to the mall, target, Kohls, Walmart, and food lion I have had in months!  I was in an out in a matter of minutes and that was even doing returns!!!  So I now smell of regular dove body wash.  The whole situation last week got me to thinking though.  It got me thinking about ways that I can simplify my life!  

 

That is right, you don't need to check your glasses.  I want to work on ways that I can simplify my life.  There are 4 people living under my roof, and only one of them does anything.  Or shall I say one of them does EVERYTHING!  Now I don't want to confuse anyone, I have kind of put myself in this situation.  I like things done a certain way.  I really do enjoy doing the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, being a personal chauffeur. You name it, I do it.  So to try and simplify my life this holiday season, I am going to start letting others help me.  I will let the girls help me do things like the cooking and cleaning.  I am even going to try and accept when a friend offers to help me out.  

 

Other ways to simplify my life during the holidays.  I think that we tend to go so overboard in the gift giving department!  A few years ago I stopped buying for every person in my family, instead I did gifts that went to the family.  Something they could do together like play a board game, watch a movie or put together a puzzle.  I think a gift they can create memories with is so much better than each person having a meaningless gift to open under the tree.  With my own children I have always been the parent that likes to have the exact same number of gifts under the tree for each child, and I would like them to be of similar value.  Well that gets much harder with a teenager in the house.  The things she wants are much more costly so she gets fewer items.  This year I am not going to stress out about making it exactly even.  I will stay close in dollar amount but they may have a different number of presents under the tree. I always wanted to implement the idea of 3 gifts, something you want, something you need, and something you read.  It never ended up working in my family because I often give gifts of several things they need, like winter coats, boots, sneakers if the ones from beginning of school have worn out. I would love to hear what traditions you all reading this have.  Leave me a comment bellow.

 

The hardest decision and biggest way I am simplifying my life this holiday season is by staying home!  We have always for the last 12 years traveled from whatever state we were living in, be it upstate NY, and a 8 hour drive or NC, and a 6.5 hour drive, or now living in VA and a 3 hour drive.  The last couple years we would drive up spend Christmas eve with family, do the whole church thing, dinner and presents with more than one side of the family and drive home late Christmas eve night so we could wake up in our home Christmas morning.  I am sad to not be spending the actual day with my extended family, but I am happy to not be traveling so late and running all around.  This year I can actually do something my oldest daughter wants to do on her birthday.  We will start new traditions.  We will travel up to see family after Christmas because we do still love to spend time with family.  Who knows next year we may go back to our old traditions but this year we will try something new.

 

Hanukkah began this week, and Christmas is just over a week away.  I hope that while everyone gets caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holidays, they can stop and take time to think about all the people that are less fortunate than us.  Enjoy your time with family and friends.  Cherish the memories and worry less about the expensive gifts.  Think about all those serving overseas that are away from their families especially their children.  My friend shared a picture this week that her son had wrote a note to Santa, and the only thing he wanted for Christmas was for his dad to come home.  I remember that my husband was deployed twice during Christmas.  Try and be nice to those you see while you are out during this busy shopping season.  Maybe they have had something terrible happen that caused them to be in such a bad mood.  Sometimes a simple smile can brighten someones day.  

 

I'll leave you with my favorite quote from the movie The Grinch. "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store." "Maybe Christmas.... perhaps.... means a little bit more!" Dr. Seuss. 

Sure, I Can Write a Blog

"Sure I can write a blog", "Sure the month of December works for me".  WHAT was I thinking?  I have never written a blog before in my life and I agree to write one the busiest month of the year!  I must think I am super woman.  Well let me start off by introducing myself.  My name is Christine, and I currently smell like men's Dove body wash.  You are probably thinking, "Why I would mention that?".  But, because it is the busiest month of the year and I haven't remembered to go to the grocery store to buy more body wash.  I am married to my husband Patrick who medically retired from the United States Army in July 2013, after serving 9 years and 2 months.  We have two beautiful daughters, Samantha who will be 16 on Christmas eve, and Elizabeth who is 9.  We live in the wonderful state of Virginia, that as of 1:00 today when the weather forecast changed, is in pure panic because we may get 5 inches of snow.  I may never get regular body wash at the rate I am going, the stores are sure to be packed.  

So on a more serious note.  As I mentioned, my husband medically retired.  He suffers from PTSD as well as normal wear and tear on his body from his time in the military.  Well, "normal" people do not like to go shopping during the holiday season, so you can imagine that my husband pretty much doesn't leave the house from Thanksgiving to New Years.  That means that all the holiday craziness is all on my shoulders.  This weekend is possibly the busiest weekend we have this month and now they of course are calling for snow which will mess everything up.  

This weekend our neighborhood has this really cool run that comes right past our house called the Tacky Light run.  It takes a lot of preparation to get ready for.  I choose a different theme than anyone else in our neighborhood.  They also have a contest with awards like, "Most likely to blow a fuse", "Most Traditional", "Most Tacky", and my all time favorite "Best Theme".  We won best theme and I am hoping to win again this year.  We do a patriotic theme.  I have all red, white and blue light and a sign with the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes information.  We have had made boards of the Iwo Jima statue, and a soldier kneeling at the fallen soldiers boots.  We have a Santa blow up in ACU' and  we have penguins holding a sign that says God Bless America.  Even a Snowlady Liberty.  The part that people love the most is that we put out boots with American Flags and the pictures and names of all the soldiers that were Killed in Action during my husbands deployment to Afghanistan 2006-2007.  

So as I am trying to prepare for the race that happens tomorrow night, and shuts down all the roads in our neighborhood, I still have to get everything on my to do list done.  First on that list the dreaded post office to mail some items from our holiday auction.  Then to go shopping for my daughters dance holiday party that is tomorrow.  That's right, I said tomorrow.  The same day as the race that closes all the streets.  And don't forget I mentioned that VA is now being forecast to get 5 inches of snow.  Which really means that all chaos will happen!  I have to go to the dreaded grocery store because I am supposed to be having some of my husbands military friends and families over to watch the race.  Well you know that the grocery store will be a madhouse because of the mere thought of snow!  So with that being said I am going to start on my busy to do list and I can't wait to share some more with you next week!  Wish me luck!

The Holiday Season is Officially Here

Since being very young, my family has always had a lot of holiday traditions from making blueberry turnovers on Thanksgiving morning, to reading The Cajun Night Before Christmas before heading to bed on Christmas Eve.

As I grew up, I always wondered what traditions my husband and I would create for our children, or what ones we would continue that we did as children. For the most part, we have carried over a lot of my side of the families traditions and just added a few others here and there. A new tradition we have implemented is on Thanks Giving day whoever we are with we make each person write down what they are thankful for and we put them all in a decorative box. We don’t read them until the following year. Last year we had the whole house full of family and friends, this year it was quiet with just the four of us. It was really special to sit down and read what everyone had written down from the year before, it really made the day feel even more full of things to be thankful for. This Christmas we are traveling to Florida to spend time with my family. This will be my first Christmas in seven years back with my parents.  What are some traditions you and your family do?

I haven't Used My Stove in Three Weeks

Typically this would mean we've been eating a lot of take-out or microwaved crap. That's not the case. Two years ago my mom swore that I needed to buy one of these new Pressure Cookers that I kept seeing the QVC infomercial for. It might sound crazy, but at the time there was no way in heck I could bring a pressure cooker into my home. My truck in Afghanistan ran over a pressure plate, and that's the only thing I could thank of every time my mom brought it up. I was too scared and had looked on you-tube l many unfortunate incidents with these pressure cookers.

My husband and I are currently both in school. I started realizing how much money we are wasting on fast food. No one wants to come home from a long day of school and have to cook for an hour, then it ends up being past the kid's bedtime, and I still have homework to do. Not to mention I am always struggling with remembering to take meat out to thaw, so we are always coming up on dinner time with no ideas of what to make and nothing thawed. I watched countless videos, and did plenty of research before I dare bring this Pressure Cooker into my home. It turns out they have supposedly made them with so many precautions so no error can occur. I  bought it exactly three weeks ago and have yet to use anything else; I make dinner in , it every night and something I use it for lunch and breakfast as well. It leaves me with only one dirty dish to clean sometimes two if I use a cutting board as well but that's it! We use to be a pretty plain family and rotate the same meals around never changing it up.  I have made so many different dishes in just these three weeks. 
 including potato soup, chili-spaghetti, stroganoff, ribs, wings, tortellini soup, and meat loaf. I even have a recipe for a cheesecake I am waiting to try. The longest part is waiting for it to pressurize. Today I made BBQ chicken Wings in 10 minutes. That's it!  This has saved me so much time in the kitchen, and allowed me to get more stuff accomplished. Also when I have had seizures and am out of it, my husband can easily check out YouTube for a quick recipe and throw it together for him and the kids rather than being super overwhelmed and buying pizza three days in a row. So it's a win, win for the family. Now I won't lie when you release the pressure after cooking a meal it whistles like an incoming mortar, and I have to brace my self every time. It's like a Public Service Announcement in our home "Get ready It's gonna be loud!" If you have a Pressure Cooker here is one of our favorite recipes.

In the service of others

Time Heals all wounds?

It’s a silly utterance isn’t it? Time healing wounds. Anyone who has a close relationship with a wounded service member knows this to be utter fallacy. Time has nothing to do with the healing of wounds. Some wounds, will never be healed. Some will get better with time, but never go away, some will fester, become infected, septic, some will grow, and become wounds in other people.

Some wounds are contagious, Some are inherited. Some can always be seen - The loss of a limb, the scars left by third degree burns. Some are hidden, some scars don’t show up in the daylight. The scar of divorce papers, because the man who came back wasn’t the man who left. The nearly empty bottle of oxycodone, because the VA doesn’t know how to treat whatever is wrong with you and the pain is too much to handle, and the narcotics don’t even touch the sides of it.

The email alert on your phone that tells of another brother or sister, becoming a causality of war long after their war was over. The gaping hole left by friendships that were ended. Because they couldn’t understand what you’d been through and wanted to talk about the college football game, fishing next week, The high school reunion.

They don’t understand you anymore, and you’re glad of it, because wishing them to understand you would be the same as wishing they’d faced what you faced and you love them too much for that. So you let them go.

The even bigger hole left by friendships that were ended because they know all too well what you’ve been through, and now all you could talk about was the fallen, the injured, the broken, because when it comes down to it, that’s all you have in common anymore. Now that friendship hurts too much so you call on veterans day, you chat for 7 minutes, and your nightmares return for a week not that they ever really went anywhere, they just seem to be in color again now.

I was asked to write this blog today, with something hopeful, uplifting, something to give our readers a smile. Something that wouldn’t set heavy on the heart of our followers that don’t know the life injured veterans and their caregivers live every day.

Because it does seem like it’s a waking nightmare when you read it from the outside. And sometimes, it feels like it from the inside too. But sometimes isn’t all the time. If you’ve read our blog before you may have come across one of my previous posts talking about my Husband Jim. If you have not, I will give you a brief background.

Jim was injured during his tour of Iraq in 2004. He was shot between the eyes, and as a result he has a TBI and PTSD. (I’ve said that exact explanation enough times now it’s as easy as saying my own birthdate).

Jim has a lot of invisible wounds. And time is not healing them. People are. Jim will never be the man he was before he deployed, but he is becoming a wonderful man in his own right. When Jim and I were married in 2008, I knew that our marriage would start with a fair bit of baggage. Loving someone with a Traumatic brain injury isn’t easy. Soothing someone with PTSD will turn you prematurely grey.

When we were first married Jim’s contact with his family was limited, his friendships strained, his existence was a pretty quiet one. He suffered bouts of depression, anxiety, mania, self-loathing you wouldn’t believe from a man that always comes across as confident (to the point of arrogance mind you) He believed in God, but was pretty sure that God no longer believed in him.

When Jim left basic training in 2001 he weighed in at 180lbs. Not bad for being 6ft 1. 4 years after being medically discharged from the Army because of his wounds Jim weighed in at 350lbs.
When you no longer feel yourself worthy you stop treating yourself as if you are worthy. Statistics from the VA state that 80% of veterans are now considered over weight. That’s a blog for another time, but those numbers are huge when you take into consideration that these men and woman were once the best trained our country had to offer.

He stopped leaving the house if it could be avoided, his VA appointments went by the wayside. Drive thru was the best invention known to man. If he wasn’t happy with what his life had become he was certainly comfortable with it, and comfort was the best he thought he could hope for.

Now, if we left it there this wouldn’t be the uplifting blog I was asked to write would it? I’m not feeling very uplifted myself right now. But it is, I swear, bear with me.

Jim’s wounds had been covered up for so long, they had begun to turn inwards, instead of healing they were going in deeper. They weren’t just invisible anymore, they were soul deep.

But then came people. People Jim had no interest what so ever in having anything to do with. Why would people care what happened to Jim? No one else had cared what happened to Jim. His friends and family didn’t know who he was now, they didn’t know how to handle him, so they left him to his own devices. That’s not to say they didn’t love him, They did, and do, they just didn’t know what they could do. 

Mark Ketcham And Jim Batchelor

So, along came people, the first of which was a man named Mark Ketcham. A quiet man, getting on his years, white hair, glasses, and a drive that would put any teenager to shame. I would say he was a bit like a bulldog with a bone, but honestly, he was a Jack Russell with a chew toy, and he wasn’t letting it go.

As part of the National Organization on disability, Mark’s job was to help injured veterans in the North East Texas area with anything he thought they might need. His work load was huge, his hours were long, and his spirit never faltered. There were these men and woman who felt forgotten and he made it his personal mission to ensure that they knew there was a place in the world for them.

For every time Jim turned Mark away he came back twice, until eventually Jim let him inside, and suddenly there was purpose. Mark took Jim everywhere. If he needed a poster child, Jim was it. Three times to Washington DC. Jim attended the re-signing of the Americans with Disabilities act, testified before the state arms committee, and got kicked out of the white house for taking photographs (twice) and then Mark started introducing Jim to other groups.

The most important one being the Coalition to Salute Americas Heroes (but if you’re reading this blog you already knew that right?) and Jim got to attend his very first Road to Recovery and suddenly, where there had been 2 people, there was a dozen people in Jim’s life. And that dozen became two dozen, and they knew only new Jim, Veteran Jim, they didn’t expect him to be anything he wasn’t and they understood the struggles that he faced, because they faced them as well, and suddenly he wasn’t alone any more, and the bandage came off the wound, and it started to feel better.

Not great, it’s always going to hurt on rough days, like a bad knee when a storm is coming, when the night is too quiet, when a car backfires, but it’s not all encompassing anymore. Surprisingly time had nothing to do with it. People did. Mark Ketchum’s office was eventually closed but he never stopped calling Jim. Mark never stopped caring, even in the weeks leading up to his death, his health worsening, and his body failing he would call to make sure Jim was ok, hiding from him the worst of his own battle. Until one night, it wasn’t Mark that called. It was Marks wife and just like that Jim could have closed the door and shut all the people Mark had given him out of his life again.

But Mark had taught Jim a very important lesson in the few years they knew each other. Service to others. Jim could not serve his country in the military anymore but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still serve.

In serving others Jim found a new place for himself in a world he never thought he would fit back into. He served as the chair person on the Texas state independent living council and has been appointed to the Texas Governors board on Traumatic Brain Injuries. He is historian for his local American Legion chapter  and served as Sargent at arms and original member of the local Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association. Now he spends his Tuesday nights training cadets in the Civil Air Patrol. His Thursday mornings volunteering at the food pantry. Last year he was part of a mission trip to Corpus Christi to run a Vacation bible school at the naval base and work on a church for the homeless community, something 5 years ago he would never have thought he was capable of doing.

Life isn’t perfect for us, and sometimes his wounds still bleed, but he’s learning to live with them. He’s seeing his own worth again. He lost 120s lbs. Finished a Bachelor’s degree in criminal justice and a Masters in National Security. He’s living instead of existing.

Jim Batchelor And Sons

He’s raising children and passing on the message of serving others. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. But each of us has the chance to help someone carry their own wounds. Each of us has the chance to come back twice for every time we are turned away, each of us has the ability to show our veterans that they still have a place and a purpose in the world they fought to protect.

I feel sometimes working in the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes Veterans Circle membership program like we are losing the battle that we couldn’t possibly reach every Veteran we need to. That there is a Jim sitting out there somewhere waiting for someone to knock on his door and show him his worth. For everyone we reach out to, we are missing two others, so we are going to need your help.
If you know a veteran, that you think might be struggling, or even one that looks to be handling things just fine, please reach out to them today, don’t take no for an answer.

Be a Jack Russell with a chew toy.

If you don’t know a veteran but would still like to help, contact The Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes and we can point you in the direction your help is needed. Serve those who served our country. 

Veterans Day

I hope everyone had a great Veterans Day. Although it's a day to reflect on the service of all veterans, sometimes even a day that is intended as more of a celebration can be hard when some of our comrades are no longer here. I hope you were able to enjoy this day with your families maybe sharing some of your great past experiences with your loved ones. My children are still young (1 & 4), but my husband and I always try and share some positive stories and just let them know what we both did in the service and the importance of our service men and women. (They enjoy going through our old gear and looking at our coins) Also why we thank all of our veterans for their service when we see one in public not just today but every day.

I once used to think people didn't care about veterans, they just kept going about their day to day life not thinking about our deployed troops or veterans at all. Then I heard someone once say, " It's not
that they don't care, it's just that they don't know how to show it.", that made sense to me. How do you thank a veteran for all they have done? By saying thank you? I have seen veterans hate being recognized or thanked for their service, they don't want a "Thank You", that's what they signed up for and what they loved. I've seen others take it with pride and continue on their way. I love it if anyone thanks me for my service, mainly because I am a female and everyone always assumes I am just wearing my husbands old Army PT shirt. So when someone goes out of their way to say thank you, I take their thanks to heart because it doesn't happen often. I used to also just go with the flow and not correct people when they use to thank my husband for his service, I would just stand there awkwardly not saying anything at all because it's not fair of me to expect people to assume I was in the Army just because.

Then one day I was buying essential oils at a local health shop, I noticed they had a sign promoting military discount. I pulled out my ID and the older women behind the cash register was in complete disbelief I was in the military. She instantly starting asking me all these questions regarding my MOS. Then she said, " how were you a military police without a gun?"  I had a gun!? I had a pistol when working patrol and I was a 50 cal. Gunner down range. The look on her face quickly changed she then said: "They let women have guns in the military?" This is the moment I knew all along I had been failing myself as a female veteran as well as my society that tends to be still set back in gender roles. Some people are that unaware of the world around them, and I was doing no good keeping my mouth shut. I know to make sure to say something and start up a conversation about my service as well. It use to not be a big deal to me but to see that people are so unaware of female veterans today just really shocked me and made me want to see change.


I hope this Veterans Day you found the love and respect of others that may have thanked you, and I pray you sincerely felt it.

Here are some facts about Veterans Day and how it came to be:

Veterans Day was once called Armistice Day to commemorate the ending of World War l. It was started on November 11, 1919. It was then further pushed to be a holiday for honoring all veterans and then changed to Veterans Day. In 1938 it became a National Holiday.

Irreplaceably Broken

I have been married to my veteran/hero for nearly 12 years. We have been through a lot together to include two deployments. When I met him he was always the life of the party even when there wasn't a party. Doing anything and everything possible to bring a smile to those around him. Needless to say, I was quickly swept off my feet with his bubbling spirit, kind gestures to all, and awkward sense of humor! After two deployments and three children, on the outside, we looked like the perfect American family - so happy and so blessed!
It was a much different feeling inside of me though. I felt like I was drowning because our house had become shook by something I didn't understand at the time. He had begun to drink ALL the time and seemed so blank. Not angry, not sad... just empty. I blamed myself, I just knew it had to be something I had done to cause him to be this way behind closed doors because when I saw him interact with others he was still the man I easily fell madly in love with. I called close friends and family trying to ask for help and find out what I could do to fix what was wrong with me, to make him happy with me again. All with dead-end answers like "maybe he just fell out of love with you.", and "people change, maybe you should just get a divorce and move on."

Well, these were not good enough for me. I'm stubborn, I'm a fixer, I made vows and still had every intention of keeping them! This man was and is my other half and I cannot possibly just cut ties with half of myself. This man is my children's Dad and I need him at his best for them. This thought process stayed for a while until one night he went out with friends drinking. Upset and wanting him to know it,  I chose to sleep on the couch... apparently, this was a mistake. When he came home he was really drunk and I was not where I was supposed to be. This made something snap inside him and he became violent. Screaming at me asking who I was and how I got in his house? He frantically went into the kids' rooms making sure they were there. I followed him afraid he was going to try and hurt them. He quickly snapped back to me still accusing me of being an intruder and asking what I had done with his wife who was not in her bed. No matter what I said or did he was not accepting that I was me. I finally got him outside and locked the door. Making the hardest decision of my life at the time, I decided to call the M.P.s as he tried to break back into our home screaming "I am going to kill you! You better stay away from my kids!" and "I will find out what you did with my wife." He was arrested and that is when I broke.
I had a Uhaul reserved before he made it to the station. Once his unit became aware of what had happened they sent him to a PTSD stress, drug, and alcohol center. I shared with his Platoon SGT my plans to leave. She begged me to rethink this, telling me I could do what I felt I needed but I should know if I did leave he would have no reason to get better. So, I canceled the moving truck and decided once he returned from the rehabilitation center I would tell him he had no more chances. If I even thought he was going to mess up, I was leaving with our kids. He came home and I did just as I had planned. I told him that as far as I was concerned, I was there as a roommate and friend. He could talk to me, we could do family events together but until further notice, I was no longer his wife, just the mother of his children- helping him heal for them.
He agreed and apologized a hundred times over. Things were going well for the next six months. He worked and came home, we did family things together, I worked and came home, and so on. My job was evening shift so we didn't have very much interaction unless we really planned it and the kids were always with one of us so it was great. Our children went away for summer vacation to their grandmother's house and we began to get closer. It started to feel like we had just met again, going on dates and even clowning around again. Everything was starting to go back to our normal.
One night I left for work and we even shared a goodbye kiss! I had a busy night and didn't have time to check my phone at all. As we were closing, my phone kept ringing so I finally answered. It was my husband's Platoon Sgt. asking if I had heard from him. I explained I had been busy at work and hadn't had a chance to hear from anyone, then asked, "Why?" as my heart pummeled my chest. She said, "Please check your messages and go straight to the hospital, he needs you!"
The next several hours are kind of blurry after I hung up from the call and was on my way out the door reading a text from him telling me he loved me, there was something wrong with him and he needed to exit my life in order to give me what was best for me and the kids... a chance to find someone not broken! I don't know how I didn't get pulled over on the way to the hospital, I am not even sure how I got there because however it was, it wasn't fast enough. I burst through the doors and the receptionist said I would have to wait for a nurse to escort me, I couldn't breathe because she wouldn't tell me his condition. A nurse came out and told me he was asking for me. Finally! A little relief - at least he is able to speak so his goodbye text was not a success. The nurse then shuttles me to a quiet room and I'm like uh where is he? She said, “I can't take you in yet because I have to talk with you.”
I do not understand this at all.. you just said he has been asking for me so why am I in this room with the dim lighting, Bible on the side tables of these couches, and tissue boxes everywhere? As I begin to feel green and my heart cannot stay contained in my chest any longer because it is racing like the beat of a million wild horses, it crosses my mind that this is where they tell the family that they did all they could! Inside my head, I am screaming but can barely gasp for air in this room to form any kind of sound.
Apparently, she could see the distress on my face and kindly said, “Stay calm and he is alive but I do have to counsel you before I can allow you to see him. He did try to overdose and is not very coherent at this time. That's all I heard from her. She said some other things but I really don't know what… something about family counseling and so on. I just couldn't wait to get to him to tell him I was sorry I felt like I had isolated him from my fear of being hurt again to the point that I almost really lost him completely. This was a good day I had thought when I left for work. Things were getting back to where they were supposed to be. I do not understand why this was the day that turned so wickedly to a nightmare where he was almost part of the 22 veterans a day who lose their battle at home. I was almost a widow because of a war in his mind. My children were almost without their Dad because he thought for a split second that someone else would be better for them because of his wounds from war.

Our Veterans need to know we are here for them every day. I felt compelled to share my story because I am proud of what the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes is doing to help lower the suicide rates within our Veteran families.  #22standing

One Year

November is a big month in the Nelms house it marks a full year we have been in our mortgage-free home from Operation Finally Home.

A year of walking through the same halls every day, resting in the same bed and it still all feels so unreal. We have enjoyed making so many memories here, and I have loved every minute.

Some of my favorite memories and moments:

November 14th is the day we moved in. Thanksgiving day we hosted dinner my entire family traveled from FL, my husbands family from North TX and aunt from South Carolina. I had never hosted a holiday at my house before let alone ever have this many individuals able to travel to whatever base we were currently stationed. This was such a high moment in my life and time I will forever cherish.
~
When they built the home, they let the community as well as our family come in and write on the frame of the home-notes of love. I am so glad they do this.
Our first year in this home my grandmother passed away.  One night as I was having a rough time grasping the fact that she had passed away I remember ugly crying in my bathtub staring at the tile on the wall and instantly remembering somewhere behind the walls of this home is a letter she wrote, showering my family with love. I couldn't help but smile and be happy for at that moment I realized something; that I was surrounded by a stronger love than just the individuals living in my home- my husband and kids but my family, friends, co-workers, even stranger that came together to show us love during the build. All the messages and love will always remain there; I couldn't help
but smile knowing she was proud of me, proud of my service and who I have become. Something so simple as letting people write on the frame of the home has brought comfort to me.
~
We have had so many visitors as well. I remember before we never had people over mainly because we typically just lived out of packed boxes because we were always anticipating another move, even after we got out of the military. We never settled anywhere, nowhere felt right. My husband and I both veterans, decided the day we found out it was a four bedroom home that we would let the guest room be an open door to any of our battles buddies in need, whether they needed to stay for a day or a month they could have this space as theirs. There is nothing worse as a Veteran then feeling alone, and sometimes we can have a whole line up of family support, but the only place that feels slightly familiar or normal is with our comrades. No fault to our families it's just how it is. We felt so blessed yet undeserving of such a gift from people that were once strangers (Operation Finally Home) that we felt the need to share this blessing with people who face our daily struggles, but most importantly we just wanted to show them unconditional love like we have been shown in a time of need. And honestly it helps us too it's hard to miss something when you surround yourself with it, I miss the Army daily so If we are surrounded by our veteran friends, it feels like we're still in. I even had an Uncle stay with us that I had never met before. It was my biological father's ( who I haven't seen in years) brother. I figure what the heck this year is a new start for us I need to be open and accepting of all opportunities. It was a great visit he taught me so much about my father's side that I had never known and just all around was so sweet and accepting he is also a veteran, so that was cool.   I am glad we have had so many people visit and stay with us, and I can't wait to celebrate the one year anniversary this month!

In total, we have had over 26 visitors and 13 people that have stayed with us for a few days. In just one year.  This whole year has been about striving to be more open, put down my wall and try to say yes more to new opportunities. I have lacked confidence over the years I am trying to get that back. Create my own identity something more than a broken vet, a victim, a mom none of these are necessarily bad, but I'm striving for something without a label. I have failed a few times this year, but I have also had great success. My heart is full!

Fall and the Astros

For our kids.

My hope is that as you’re reading this our guys clinched the championship on Halloween night, if they don’t we can sweep game 7 just like we did for the ACLS!! We’ll be watching, with pumpkin spice in hand and rocking our gear!!

Before my family moved to Texas we were never really sports fans. Sure, Iowa had the Iowa Cubs and our Iowa Hawkeyes for college football but no professional sports teams.
Now we’ve got the Texans and the Astro’s and what an amazing time to be a fan! Had you noticed they had over 100 wins and are currently tied 2 – 2 with the LA Dodgers. We think they can do it this year, it’s our year! We’ve got Altuve, Correa, Springer and an all-around awesome team!
All of us have our Astro’s gear and even if it’s really late, we make every attempt to catch each game. We cheer, we yell, we question the ref’s and have just really come to love watching our team this year. Not because they made it to the World Series but because we’ve gone to a few games and the time we go is time we’re making memories. Bring on the World Series win!!
 !!

"Thank You For Your Service"

In the movie, "Thank You for Your Service", who plays Saskia Schumann?

Who is the president and CEO of the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes?

What is the name of the Heroes Thanking Heroes Blog?

There is a retired U. S. Marine who is running 31 Marathons in 31 days to raise money for wounded veterans. What is his name?

What is the current challenge campaign the Heroes Thanking Heroes conducting?

What is the physical address of the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes?

The writer of American Sniper is the screenwriter and director of Thank You for Your Service, what is his name?

The movies is based off a bestselling book by a Pulitzer-Prize winner. what's the author's name?

What is the name of the program that is offered exclusively to veterans by the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes?

What is the release date of Thank You for Your Service?

Who wrote the song "Alive Day"?

When was the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes established?

Where was Thank You for Your Service filmed?

How do you donate via text to the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes?

What was the production company for Thank You for Your Service?

Sharing Our Time

"Mom, when are you going to do something with me?" 

 

"When you have time, maybe when the baby is sleeping can you help me?" 

 

These are only two of the questions that any new parent hates to hear from their older kids. I'm Sarah, wife to my husband Donny and mom to Gabby (14), Kollin (9) and our new baby Everleigh (8 weeks).

I think any parent can relate to wanting to make sure they're giving your new bundle of joy the love and care they need, while not neglecting the needs of older kids. Our daughter Gabby loves having a new baby in the house but she's at the time in her life where she needs to be close to mom & dad. She's 14, a freshmen in school and active in a handful of sports. Gabby loves to help out with her baby sister when she (Gabby) isn't babysitting, doing homework or doing things with her friends. It's tough because I remember how important being able to talk to my mom was when I started high school and I never really thought she had enough time for me. I don't want my sweet daughter to feel that way about me. 

 

My son Kollin is in 4th grade and just like most his friends, he wants to become a famous video game player or YouTuber! Kollin will try to catch my ear by telling me about a "Boss" or a level he's struggling with on one of his Xbox One games. Sometimes he only wants me to listen, even if I have no idea what he's talking about! (Which is most the time) But Kollin is our handsome little man who loves his sisters, LOOOVVVEEESSS playing video games. He can go upstairs and play online with his school friends and not be seen for hours and be perfectly content!

 

My husband and I have tried, and tried again to implement some alone time with each of our kids. Sometimes that means my daughter and I will steal away for Starbucks and mani/pedi or even just take her to Smoothie King and talk about life. With Kollin it usually is his dad playing video games with him, or even one of us taking him to a movie. Superhero or cartoon and he's happy as can be! We're always looking at making this work. We certainly didn't plan to have a new baby but now that she's here we see what a blessing she is. We just want to make sure that our kids are as happy as we are. 

 

Fall is here now which means more walks with our older two, more baseball and basketball in the driveway (that can literally last for hours) or even sitting outside with a hot chocolate and truly connecting with Gabby and Kollin about their day, their friends, their problems and really, honestly being there for them. 

 

How have you connected with older kids when a baby finds its way into your life? 

 

13 Years

Thursday, October 12th marked 13 years of us remembering my husband’s Alive Day.
Our family celebrates this day to recognize how close we came to having lost my husband and our children’s father. So many things can be said about this day, but one thing is certain, God knew Donny had more left to do on this earth.
I remember that day vividly, so much so, sometimes I wish I could forget. I don’t like to talk about the day he was injured. It’s been long enough for me where I’ve could move past this traumatic experience, but anytime I recount those memories the emotions come flooding back.
I was working full time and taking care of our 1-year old daughter when my husband was deployed. It was tough being a single parent but even more difficult having my husband overseas and in the line of fire day in and day out. You always wonder the what if’s. What if my husband doesn’t come home? What do you tell your 1 year old; or how do you tell a one year old their father isn’t ever coming home again? It’s not a healthy state of mind to be in, but things most families think about during a deployment.
My husband and his company were stationed near Al Mahmoudiya, a small farm and industrial area just south of Baghdad. Communication back then was a bit different then it is now, long lines for the computer and even longer ones for the phones. Email is how we communicated best. I remember getting to work the morning of the 12th and seeing an email from my husband. He wrote the normal, I miss you and wish I was there with you and our beautiful daughter and always ending with, I’ll be home before you know it. But at the end of the email this time, it was different. He wrote, he wasn’t sure when he would be able to write me again due to an upcoming patrol schedule, my heart sank. He always told me not to worry and that everything will be fine but this time it felt different. I responded right away, even knowing there is a 7-hour difference and that he probably wouldn’t get it right away, but I wanted it sent more for my piece of mind. I wrote, we love you and are praying for a safe return. I sent it and found myself re-reading his email over and over until I forced myself to close it. But something just felt off and uneasy about this email.
I was anxious all day and had a hard time concentrating on work. I couldn’t wait for my day to be over. I just wanted to be home with our daughter and be distracted by our little angel. Our night was spent watching the movies Donny made for us before he left, reading books, and finally going to bed. I refused to watch the news that night, I didn’t want to see any stories about the war and the latest casualties our military suffered. I just wanted this day to be over and start new.
Around Midnight the phone rang. I woke immediately but felt frozen. I knew if someone was calling me at this hour something was wrong. I answered and it was my husband on the other line, I relaxed a bit knowing I was talking to him. I remember him saying “Sarah can you hear me”, I immediately responded, “is everything ok”? He said, “I’m fine, please don’t worry.” I remember asking him over and over what is going on. He sounded muffled almost as if he had a bad connection, but later I would find out that it was his jaw that was broken and he couldn’t get what he was trying to say correctly. I finally asked him to please stop saying everything is ok and to tell me what was going on. Honestly at the time I thought he was going to tell me some of his marines were injured because he sounded fine, but he didn’t. He said, “I got shot but I’m ok”. I asked him where, where were you shot? And he responded in the face. I screamed. I screamed so loud I woke my daughter in the other room. I started crying hysterically, he kept telling me he’ll be fine and that he would see me sooner than expected. He wasn’t on the phone long when the surgeon said, we need to go. He told me he loved me and that I would hear from someone soon. Before I could even say I love you, the surgeon took the satellite phone and told me the news. He said ma’am your husband’s been shot in the face, we don’t know where the bullet is and we need to find out. I wanted your husband to call before taking him in. When he’s out of surgery we will make sure to report to his base and someone will be in touch with you. The phone went silent and they were gone.
To be honest what happened afterwards is a bit of a blur. I remember calling my sister right away trying to get out what just happened but I was crying too hard to form real sentences. I remember saying Donny’s been injured. She screamed and started crying, she finally gained her composure and said she was coming over. My daughter was still crying in her bed but I couldn’t move, I just sat in my room on the side of the bed in disbelief, hysterically crying to trying to figure out what next. I didn’t know what to do, who to contact that late at night; I was helpless. I was up all night hoping to hear from someone and going in and out of sleep. It was the longest 24 hours I’ve ever experienced.
Over the next several days, family would stop by showing their support and comforting me while awaiting word. Three days passed with no word on my husband’s status.  I didn’t know if my husband made it out of surgery or if he was recovering in the hospital. My daughter and I would spend some of the time up at the base awaiting word but nothing came. We would go home, wake up and go back in hopes something had changed. Finally, on the fourth day the phone rang, it was Donny. He was in now in Germany recovering, that is when I got the full story.
On the night of October 12, 2004, they were conducting security patrols in an area outside of our base they called “the ghetto”. Most of the time they were shot at while patrolling and even many IED’s and mortar attacks came from that area. After patrolling for a few hours, his team got a call that their base had received mortar fire and apparently, a few locals wanted them to know that when they got mortared, the people launching the mortars were loading the tubes into their cars and driving away. They received word to set up a vehicle check point which started with no issues during the first few stops. Then they stopped a car and the driver was mad, yelling and irritated that he was stopped. He drove away from their checkpoint backwards but while doing that he attempted to run over some of their Marines. They engaged him and before he and his vehicle stopped he had managed to shoot in my husband’s direction and one of those bullets hit him in the face. It fractured his jaw, damaged his sinuses and the bullet was still up inside his head. After surgery in Baghdad and stabilization in Balad he was sent to Landstuhl Germany for another several weeks. There was a lot of movement once he was out of surgery hence the reason of no communication.
Donny would stay in Germany for 2 weeks before being flown back to Bethesda Naval Medical Center. That’s where I met up with my husband and stayed with him over the next week. We flew home together to greet our daughter and after 2 weeks he would then fly to California and stay for the next year at Camp Pendleton while receiving treatment at Balboa Hospital. A seizure disorder, nerve damage, trouble swallowing, a migraine condition and a moderate traumatic brain injury were the result from his injury.
These past 13 years have not been easy. We’ve had our ups and downs but we are a family unit and always will be. We have a long road ahead but together we can face anything.

Hurricane Harvey, 800 Year Flood & Expecting

Hurricane Harvey was one of our country’s most destructive hurricanes to make land fall since
Wilma in 2005. The trajectory wasn’t certain with all the hurricane models coming in but one thing was certain, it was going to hit Texas borders, it was just a matter of where.
Everyone that knows my family understands we’re from the Midwest. We’ve never been through a hurricane and are fortunate enough to not have experienced one until Harvey. Every year before hurricane season we would get pamphlets in the mail and our local news would broadcast the importance on why you should be hurricane ready for hurricane season. But to be honest, I don’t think anything could have prepared us for what we were about to go through once Harvey made landfall.
It was Thursday, August 17th when the news first reported there was a disturbance in the Atlantic. At first it was a tropical depression but it was reported that it would more than likely become a Hurricane in a matter of hours. At the time I was almost 40 weeks pregnant about to give birth to our third child. I was looking forward to welcoming our little one to the world and to be done being pregnant. My due date was Monday, August 21st only several days away. I thought surely, I would have my baby before the storm hit but as fate would have it, we were in for a ride.
My due date came and went and I felt fine, no contractions, still only dilated to a 2 and 30% effaced. As disappointing as it was, there was nothing I could do. By this time the Hurricane had entered the Gulf and was upgraded to a Category 2 and predicted to become a 3 or 4 before landfall. The storm was set to hit Rockport, TX south of Galveston the coming weekend. Our local weatherman said we would see some rain and winds but not feel the direct impact of the storm. That gave me some relief knowing if I went into labor all will be fine and we could make it to the hospital.
My husband and I both went to the store to get some supplies and get ready for our first hurricane. We were a little excited about experiencing our first real storm since living near the gulf. We pulled up to the store and it wasn’t busy as you would expect it to be. We weren’t sure what to get, so we picked up the basics, snacks, a few cases of water, milk, bread and eggs. While checking out we started conversating with the cashier who was young man, college age more than likely and he asked us why we had so much water? We told him there’s a hurricane in the gulf that is set to hit south of us this weekend. He had no idea but didn’t seem too concerned, he smirked a little and said I wouldn’t be too worried, when Ike hit, they only experienced heavy winds and a little rain. His biggest complaint was the store would be busier than normal due to everyone gathering up supplies. We thanked him and headed home. The next day Hurricane Harvey was upgraded to a category 4. The direction didn’t change, but the size of the storm did which caused a little more concern. It was now being reported the front carrying the storm was slow moving and that our area would see more rainfall then first predicted. Now, all of Houston’s school districts cancelled school and most business decided to close to prepare for the storm. Hurricane Harvey hit landfall on Friday, August 23rd. That morning and afternoon weren’t terrible, it rained on an off, a few gusts of wind but nothing serious. Kids loved being out of school and just bummed around the house waiting for the storm to pass. Friday night rolled around and that’s when everything changed.
We went to bed Friday night with a heavy downpour, but nothing too serious just thinking it will calm down over the next few hours. Around 2 a.m. I was woken up by a loud bang of lightening that shook our entire house. I sat right up and it looked almost as if it were daytime. It was the scariest lightning storm I’ve ever experienced. The lightening was so close and loud as if the lighting was hitting our house each time. I remember looking out my bedroom blinds and screaming almost immediately with what felt like lightning struck right in front of me. My husband popped up from bed and asked me what was wrong, I told him and he fell back asleep with no concern. It was still raining heavily and thought I should go and check the front part of the house. I walked over to my husband’s office windows and couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Our street was completely flooded with water half way up our yard and the rain was still coming, I panicked! I ran and got my husband and told him what was going on. He came to the front of the house and we both watched in disbelief. Across the street our neighbor’s parent’s vehicle was parked in the street that had water to its doors this helped us gage how high the water was. Suddenly, their car alarm started going off, knowing the water was now in the electrical system, that car was officially taken by the storm.
What seemed like forever the storm finally let up for a few minutes. All at the same time every neighbor came out of their houses to assess what was going on and how bad everything was. Lightning was still flashing all around us, but we didn’t care, we wanted to see for our own eyes what had happened in the short time since the real down pour started. We took some pictures, yelled across the way to each other making sure everyone was ok and then rain started again.

It continued to rain all through the night into the morning. We were very fortunate that night and our home was spared from the floods. Many neighborhoods and friends were not so lucky. And sadly, this was just the first of many days we would have heavy down pours, it just didn’t seem real.
That morning my husband and daughter walked our neighborhood to see how everyone else faired and by this time the water was starting to recede. The pictures he sent me were shocking. All roads were flooded, our neighborhood lake was over the side walk nearing the back of homes. Never would’ve of thought it would get this bad.
Behind our home is our kids Junior High school, the city quickly transformed it into a shelter for flood victims. All day and night we would hear fan boats and helicopters coming and going dropping families off and heading back out to rescue other families. The news was on 24/7 showing the devastation that our city was experiencing and I just felt helpless. My husband and daughter took most of our supplies up to the shelter to help the many families that lost everything, they needed it more than we did. We lost nothing, and most of these families had to leave their homes with just the clothes on their backs. They spent a good portion of the day at the school helping distribute supplies and to lend a helping hand where it was needed. The stories they came home with were heartbreaking.
Sunday evening came and it felt like deja vue all over again. Another round with just as much rain, but with the grounds already saturated the water had nowhere to go. My family and I were frantically stacking furniture and moving items to our second level to avoid damage. Imagine a 40+ week pregnant woman frantically picking up baby furniture to avoid the potential of flood water getting into the newly finished baby room, it was truly awful. We did all we could to ensure we could salvage as much furniture and personal belongings in case we took on water. Thankfully we were spared once more. Now looking back, I thanked God for giving me more time before having my little girl. I couldn’t imagine having a newborn and dealing with the storm and all the uncertainties. Finally, the rain stopped and the water start to recede again giving my family hope once more. Everyone was glued to the T.V. watching the videos and pictures come across the screen. Two exits from us everything was under water. My heart broke for these families losing everything and waiting for rescues.
The water was finally off our street and we quickly realized we were running low. Not sure how the next few days would be he needed to restock. My husband did some checking and found that our local HEB was open and we knew word would get around fast. We ventured out in my husband’s truck driving slowly through the flooded streets. We made it to the store and my husband dropped me off in front to get in the line that was growing fast. They were letting in 10 families at a time to avoid chaos inside the store. As I stood in line, I found myself in a daze, seeing everyone’s faces, the lost look in their eyes, some people were arguing other’s crying it was truly a moment I’ll never forget. I remember standing there telling myself, don’t cry you’ve been strong this entire time, you’re fine. It truly felt like we were living in a different world. Finally, it was my turn to go in the store, and it was crazy. People rushing down the aisles trying to get what they could before someone else, or before another round of storms hit or; to avoid waiting in line to check out because those lines were building fast too. We gathered what we needed and headed home. On our way home a fire truck along with a truck pulling a boat went speeding down the road heading the opposite way from us and I just froze. That is when I lost it, letting everything finally sink in what we’ve been through and not sure of the unknown and knowing there is more rain to come I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I just cried. Knowing where those trucks were headed and what they’re going to do I broke and cried all the way home. Monday evening, we had a few small showers but most of the storm was finally moving out.
During Hurricane Harvey Houston received over 60+ inches of rain and taking 88 lives. The Storm has been called the 800-year flood one I pray to never experience again. The devastation our city experienced was immeasurable and be something we’ll never forget.
I went into labor at the tail end of the storm. We welcome our precious angel Everleigh Kay Daughenbaugh Tuesday, August 29th at 6:07 pm. I thank God for sparing our home and giving my sweet little girl more time before coming into this world during such a devastating time.
Driving around even almost 2 months from when Harvey made land fall, you will still see devastation all around; sheet rock, furniture, personal belonging piled up in front of people’s homes just waiting to be picked up by the city. Many families are still displaced and are awaiting help to get back on their feet. I will continue to pray for these families in hopes they find a place to call home again.
I used to love a good thunderstorm, but I doubt I’ll feel the same anymore.  It will be a constant reminder of what is now to be the worst storm in U.S. history.

-Sarah D.

Heroes Freedom Weekend

9/11 Memorial NYC

The following post was a letter written by Veteran Circle Program Manager Antoinette Batchelor -  sent to the couples who attended The Coalition to Salute America's Heroes very first Heroes Freedom Weekend. the event took place over 4 and a half days in 2 cities.

The event started in Washington DC where our Heroes were taken to visit monuments and memorials before a Train ride to New York City to visit Lady Liberty and culminating with a tour of the 9/11 Memorial with special guests Jack Scalia and Joe Torillo - former NYFD and first responder.

All attendees were members of The Coalition to Salute America's Heroes membership program The Veteran Circle.

To learn more about the Heroes Freedom Weekend view the Heroes Thanking Heroes newsletter later in the month. It was an exiting journey that will hopefully stay with the 13 couples who attended for many years to come.



Dear Heroes,

Wow! What a Ride.
When we first dreamed of the Heroes Freedom Weekend It was lacking a vital component, You!
It was you who made it such a success, one that will hopefully continue to help veterans for years to come. I cannot express to you the level of gratitude we have for your patience and understanding of the challenges of an inaugural event and most importantly we are so grateful for your service.

“Many of our nation’s heroes volunteered for war after the tragic events of September 11 2001.  The heart of many American warriors can be found at ground zero, but very few of them have been afforded the opportunity to visit this sacred site in person.”

The Heroes Freedom Weekend Team
Battery Park NYC

The above was part of the initial proposal for the Heroes Freedom Weekend sent to the Coalition’s CEO, David Walker.  My husband and I had just completed our very own freedom tour with the Perez family, visiting many of the sites we visited together last month. We followed a near Identical path to the one we walked with you.  I knew standing at the feet of Lady Liberty that this reconnection was something our Veterans needed. Not only a reconnection with our spouses, or our brothers and sisters in arms, but a reconnection with our country. So many veterans return and feel disconnected from the nation they fought so valiantly to defend. What better place to reconnect with the foundations of this Nation that it’s Capital.

And so began the Heroes Freedom Weekend.

We had 13 veterans attend, but it’s still not enough. We want 13 more, we want 130 more, we want 1300 more to walk those halls and hopefully start to heal. We had a great many hopes for the Heroes Freedom Weekend.  We hoped to strengthen marriages, we hoped to build brotherhood, and sisterhood, and family.  We hoped to give you an experience like none other so that you could walk away from and feel as changed as we did the first time (and now the second, and hopefully the third fourth and fifth times).

We hoped that we could give you back something you gave of so freely to your country. It might seem like a cliché, but we believe that every man and woman who picked up arms for this country, who saw a great evil and did something about it, despite having never stepped foot on the grounds, left a small part of their souls in the grounds of a field in Pennsylvania, the Brick of the Pentagon, and the foundations of Ground Zero when they signed on that dotted line. You sacrificed your health, your wellbeing, your limbs, your family, your peaceful sleep for this nation, and we are grateful to you.

We hope you were able to leave behind that which has been eating you all these long years, that you were able to lay at the base of the freedom tower your anger, your guilt, your sorrow, or whatever it is you’ve been using as a place holder and that you were able to pick up the part of your soul that is so filled with love of country it couldn’t bear to see it suffer.

We hope you found family and renewed strength. In spite of the challenges we faced we hope you knew without a doubt that you were surrounded by men and woman who have been where you are, are where you are or are headed in that direction and I hope you felt as I did that we were unstoppable. That no uber issue, tour guide or bus driver was going to stand in our way. What is the hustle and bustle of New York City when you have 13 other Veterans at your side?

I hope the challenges we faced, the uncomfortable situations, the iffy moments with New York’s more colorful inhabitants reminded you, that you are never alone. That for as long as we have each other, we have a battle buddy, and we never leave our family behind.

Thank you for making this dream of ours become a reality. Thank you also to Sara Miller who sacrificed sleep and sanity to make sure the Heroes Freedom weekend ran as smoothly as it did. She is a magician of logistics and without her the event would still be sitting in the maybe one-day pile. Thank you to Donny Daughenbaugh who you may not have realized just stared down Hurricane Harvey while welcoming a new born baby girl into the world. Thank you to his beautiful wife Sarah for sharing him with us.

-The Heroes Freedom Weekend Team.