When I was thinking about what I wanted to write about, there was one topic that kept coming up, the VA's Caregiver Program. With new applicants getting denied and more and more caregivers who have been in the program being removed, it is no wonder that people are getting mad. Trust and believe that I personally understand their feelings and anger, and believe they are fully justified. And yes, to give full disclosure, I have applied and was denied and am currently working on my appeal.
Our veterans took an oath to protect this country, an oath that every single one of them still takes very seriously. They took this oath willingly, knowing that they could possibly lay down their lives in service to their country, with the understanding that if something were to happen to them, they and their families would be taken care of. The veterans kept their promise, now the government needs to keep theirs.
With the Caregiver Program, it often feels like there is no rhyme or reason why some are approved and others are denied. To us, this can cause confusion because it can feel as if someone is saying that one veteran's injuries and issues are more relevant than another's, when it may not look that way by all outward appearances. I've witnessed us as caregivers start to analyze things and pick each other apart over this. You get one caregiver asking why this person's husband was approved, and that person's husband was approved, but theirs wasn't? It's a horrible feeling to be made to feel as if your loved one is less deserving than someone else.
One thing we need to keep in mind is that caregivers/veterans are NOT the ones making these decisions on who is approved and who is not. Instead of tearing each other down, we need to be prepared to be open-minded and willing to communicate with each other as peers in the same caregiver community. Instead of lashing out in anger and possibly spreading discontent and resentment, we should be reaching out and seeking advice that could help our cases. My husband was injured in '04, and I cannot name one caregiver program or support group at that time that was around to help me navigate through the muddy waters of bureaucracy that we, as new caregivers, were having to step into. Over the years, we have found ways to become united and been able to make real changes for ourselves and for our veterans.
This is where I have felt lucky because I have people I could turn to for advice and guidance when I needed it (all from the VCA!). People that have helped me learn to take that anger and frustration and use it as fuel to work even harder to accomplish my goals in being a caregiver taking care of my veteran, and to help make changes so that maybe others won't have to go through the same struggles I did. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying not to get angry. You should get angry, we all should be. I just believe that we should be angry together as a community instead of at each other, and use that anger to help make changes that will help ensure our government takes care of its caregivers so they can take care of their veterans.
This sense of community is why I feel the VCA is so important. I worry for the caregiver that doesn't feel that sort of support, and they end up walking away from the program. I've often told my kids that they should strive to be a light in the world; we have enough people spreading hate and negativity. What we need is more people sharing a kind word, positive reinforcement, and warm smiles. To all my fellow caregivers I would like to say THANK YOU!! Your continued service to your veterans and our country is not unnoticed or forgotten.
Written by Beth, Veteran Caregiver
