Rain Rain Go Away!!

Vacation means sunshine and tan lines. Well… for most it does.

We were leaving for vacation, I was checking the weather and I see tropical storm alerts. REALLY? I mean, all I want to do is lay in the sun with my toes in the sand!

We’ve been traveling for 2 days now. We left Kentucky on Monday and stopped to stay the night in Alabama. We thought for sure we’d beat the storm. Guess who was wrong? Haha

Today, we are traveling from Alabama to Florida. The rain is heavy and the wind is strong! We are driving 50 mph and traffic is backed up. I keep checking the weather for Florida and it seems to be cleared up there. All I want is a tan. Haha, For real though. A tan. That’s it!

We’ve all probably had those thoughts before. You know, the thought of driving to a beach JUST TO GET A TAN. It’s almost like we can’t get a tan where we live. Seriously though. It’s a real thing right?

Anyway- this storm is not joking. It knocked power out inside the hotel today! If it’s storming where you are or if this tropical storm has hit where you live, stay safe! If you are traveling, drive safely!

Sunshine and tan lines… here we come!

-Melissa Riley, Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative

Backyard BBQ'n

As Memorial Day approaches, most of us are preparing for an extended weekend with lots of food, friends, and family.

Having BBQ's are so much fun on Memorial Day Weekend! You get to hang out with friends and family, and talk of loved ones who have passed or simply celebrate who is there. My favorite part is the smell of charcoal filling the air, burgers sizzling on the grill, and we can't forget the juicy, ripe watermelon.

I mean what's NOT to love!?

Having a barbecue can be quite expensive or exhausting sometimes too, though. That's one reason my family has a potlukc! We enjoy having other people bringing a dish. Who doesn't love trying new foods, right? Haha! OH! And don't forget the yard games! I love a good game of corn hole or bad mitten!

The sound of children laughing and playing is music to my ears! This is a weekend most of us look forward to all year long. It means schools out, vacations start, and it's time to open the pools!!

I hope your lemonade is sweet, your hot dog is crisp, and your strawberry shortcakes are tart!!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!
-Melissa Riley

Sweet Sweet Summertime

Being from Kentucky, you never know the weather. April showers means snow angels instead of May flowers. I remember a few months ago, in April, I was saying,"Oh summer where art thou?"

Now I'm like give me all the air conditioning and sunscreen! And don't forget vacation! You know, the summer essentials!! 

Are you prepared for summer? Are you traveling with your family on a road trip or on a vacation? 

We are a family who likes to travel. Our favorite place is out West in the mountains where the coolness of night rests on your skin. This year, we decided to take a different route. We are traveling south....to FLORIDA! A place my children will be smothered in sunscreen!

Packing for a family of 5 and 2 dogs can be quite the challenge.  I am bound to forget something. I'm almost positive that something will surely be an item of mine OR the sunscreen. Imagine that. It’s normally the most needed thing we tend to forget. 

Packing lists are my best friend. Well, maybe my second best friend, as a TO DO list is my first. GOSH! Where would I be without my TO DO lists. I mean come on, we can all act like we have it all together but without our LISTS, we'd be lost! I try to stay very organized in my daily routines but I think as vacation approaches, I become a little giddy. You know, like a kid in a candy store. HAHA (Just thinking about a week away, not having to clean and pick up my own home) SCORE!!!

Packing for your whole family means making sure everyone has the right amount of outfits, toothbrushes, tooth paste, meds.....and the list goes on and on. So needless to say, my packing list is extremely long and overwhelming (but a life-saver). The key goal is to start your lists early. Make a list a few weeks prior to your trip to ensure you have everything you need!!

HAPPY SUMMER FRIENDS AND DON'T FORGET TO PACK YOUR SUNSCREEN!! Comment with your summer travel plans!
-Melissa Riley

Caring for America's Heroes

From fighting alongside our nation’s military both mentally and emotionally during their service to being there every step of the journey afterwards, Military Caregivers have earned the right to say “I have served.”  Throughout the month of May, many organizations and the general public celebrate the Month of the Military Caregiver as a way to spread awareness on the needs an accomplishments of the 5.5 million military caregivers across the country, 1.1 million of which care for post-9/11 veterans. (RAND study on Military Caregivers)

Who are Military Caregivers?

The “formal” definition would be a family member, friend, or acquaintance who provides a broad range of care and assistance for, or manages the care of, a current or former military servicemember with a disabling physical or mental injury or illness…

Let’s be REAL…

These individuals provide countless and often around the clock care without expectations of their own benefits. Each of them hold multiple job titles, what they do is different case by case but can only be described by those individuals themselves. Here are a few that were mentioned…

Wife, caregiver, mother, taxi-cab, untrained nurse, wheelchair mechanic, wound care attendant, a crutch, a cane, a permanent wheelchair pusher, pharmacist, chef, secretary…..  the list goes WAY on, some even too personal to share publicly.

The essential role of the caregiver is becoming more well-known and the care being provided by these heroes is enabling veterans to live a better-quality life with more focus on the rehabilitation and recovery phase.  What support is needed?  That’s a loaded question and sometimes the answer isn’t determined for quite some time or additional health issues arise that change the prospective situation. Determining the needs is a tedious task often left unresolved in return.

How WE help:

The Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes recognized a need for support while working with Veteran families through the Heroes Thanking Heroes employment program.  We are able to get to know these caregivers on a personal level and offer support in their times of emergency needs. To better serve the veterans we help, we created a free membership program called Veteran Circle. The membership makes them eligible for many free gifts and services such as holiday meal checks, educational training through Skillsoft, a dental and vision discount plan, retreats, and more.  More importantly, we lend an ear.  We call to check in with these families periodically to see if additional support is needed and how we may be able to help.

We work with many caregivers who over time have experienced or are experiencing ‘caregiver burnout’ where they’ve started to feel depression and anxiety and just need something in their lives to make them feel accomplished again.  Many leave their full-time jobs at the drop of a time when they receive the dreaded phone call that their spouse has been injured.  They sacrifice what they imagined their life would become but they do it out of love and most wouldn’t have it any other way.  Selfless.  They are so selfless.  Through the Heroes Thanking Heroes program, many of them are able to find self-worth again along with develop bonds with others who may not share the same struggles, yet still very well understand the logic and the challenges.

“We are a family and we help each other every chance we get, no judgement when we just need to vent on the bad days and then incredible support when we share about the good days.” -HTH representative/military caregiver

Another rewarding feature of our Veteran Circle program is that we have closed private Facebook groups set up for both the Veterans AND the caregivers registered in the program.  This is a safe, supportive place for them to get to know each other, share their journey, and support each other.  We have some phenomenal caregivers in our group and with their permission we have highlighted a few of them in our short video above that we hope you will take the time to watch.  Each of these incredible people deserve the utmost appreciation for their service.  A simple “Thank you” can go a long way so please join us as we show our appreciation throughout the month to some very special Military Caregivers.

Resources:

Learn more or apply for the Veteran Circle program:
www.saluteheroes-vetcircle.org

The RAND Military Caregiver Study funded by the Elizabeth Dole Foundation:
https://www.rand.org/health/projects/military-caregivers.html

Elizabeth Dole Foundation Hidden Heroes resource community:
www.hiddenheroes.org

Finding Myself

Finding Myself

Becoming a caregiver means so many different things:

It means becoming selfless.
It means being on guard for someone else.
It means wearing many hats in your home.
It means restless nights.
It means stressful days.

Being a caregiver means an array of many things. When I first began care-giving for my husband I was so overjoyed. I thought, WOW, I get to spend every day with my husband and take care of him. I felt I had so much purpose.

Boy, was I wrong. I didn't realize how much stress it could add to our home, our marriage, and our children. Not to mention, to myself. A few years passed and I had become a different person. I was very unhappy with myself, which in turn made me unhappy towards everyone else. I lost my identity. I forgot how to be me. The joyful mom. The working mom. I gained quite a bit of weight and felt miserable. I had no idea what was going on. I was being the caregiver and wife I was supposed to be but still something was missing.

Many months passed and I realized it was time to change. It was time to find ME again. Being a caregiver doesn't mean losing yourself. It means you find balance in the many hats you wear as well as your identity. I began going to the gym each morning as my husband was still asleep. I was given the opportunity to work for the Heroes Thanking Heroes program as well. I finally found purpose again. I am taking care of ME, as well as my husband and the many other roles I play. I FOUND BALANCE. I am a better mom, wife, and friend to everyone now. I find joy in something each day.

So, as I end this passage, I want to let you other caregivers know, there is hope. Don't lose yourselves. Find balance. You need YOU time. You have to keep yourself together to keep your home together. Hey, the gym may not be your thing....I get it. Find something you love and something you can do for yourself that will keep you happy and balanced!
-Melissa Riley

Hero at Home

6:27am. Alarm blaring, It's time to WAKE UP! All 3 children are getting dressed for school, mom's coffee is brewing, and 2 hungry dogs mean it is time to start the day.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever make it through the day doing my daily chores and routines. We as moms think, "WOW! I need my cape today!!".  HAHA! I mean, come on, we all know how that moment feels. That moment we stand with rubber gloves on and a spatula in one hand saluting the chaos!

There are times I wonder if I am even doing this whole mom thing right, and then I look at my 3 children and remind myself, God gave me these children to nurture and raise.

Through the chaos, I allow it to become just that, CHAOS. I have learned to take a moment to step back and remember that I can still be a hero to my children, and not let life become overwhelming. Between soccer, football, baseball, and cheer - Life can become very tiresome! “I've got this,” I tell myself! I am a hero. I am the mortar to the brick, the peanut butter to the jelly, the hero at home.

Without me, who would my kids look up to? So here's to all of you amazing mamas out there.....YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. YOU ARE A HERO AT HOME!! 

Melissa Riley

Little Boys and Lamborghinis

Yesterday morning, April 29th,  a little boy jumped on me, "Mommy, next year I'm going to have double digits!". I thought, "Wow. I remember that feeling. It was exciting for me, but now...now I wonder how my mom felt.", now I wonder how she feels having all of her children in their 30's.

Yesterday I've been a mom for 9 years. It seems like a long time, but it really isn't, is it? There has been a lot, of ups and downs, but that's how we get though life. We fall, we learn, and we get back up again. John Michael Montgomery put it best "Life's a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don't worry 'bout what you don't know. Life's a dance, you learn as you go.". Seems like parenthood is a lot of following, learning from other parent's, taking advice from your parents, even grandparents. There's some leading too, you are leading your kids to be better people than you are, be more successful in life than you have been, to be better all around. At least that's what I hope to be teaching my kids. In 9 years I have told my sons to always stand up for the little guy, never make fun of anyone for anything, always turn the other cheek when someone is saying rude or mean things about you because most likely they have a problem with themselves and not you, and NEVER be the one to throw the first punch. Sometimes I pull wisdom out of thin air, and sometimes I seek the elder's advice, or I pray. I once heard that the path to wisdom is paved by stupidity, I can't say that's entirely wrong. 

I started celebrating my son's 9th birthday on Friday, and this is mainly why I'm sharing this with you. He's quite the car fanatic, pictures of cars all over his room and car video game. His favorite movie when he was younger, you guessed it, "Cars". So this isn't a new thing. He's a car guy. A few weeks ago he had told me that all he wanted for his birthday was to see a Lamborghini. He just wanted to see one. I knew I was going to make this small gift happen, I didn't care if I had to drive to one of our neighboring states, he was going to see a Lambo. So, I did what we all do when we need information these days, I googled. There was a Lamborghini dealership in Greensboro, 45 minutes from where we live!!! I called and asked if in a few weeks I could bring my boy to see the cars for his birthday. That's all he really asked for, nothing else. They told me I could, I had been so excited ever since. I could NOT wait to get him to the Lamborghini dealership. I even bought him a t-shit with the Lamborghini design on it. 

The dealership has weird hours, they aren't open on the weekends and some weeks not open until Wednesday, and some weeks not open at all. Luckily, this past Friday they were open. I kept him home from school and told him it was because I didn't like his spring pictures, that he was going to get a haircut and have them re-done. I handed him his new shirt and told him he could wear it in his pictures because it represents something he loves. He was so irritated (except for the shirt, he loved the shirt, he was excited for the shirt).. He complained all morning. I took him to breakfast, we got his hair cut (Of course so he looked spiffy while hanging out with some Lambos), and off we went. 

I pulled up to the dealership, he still didn't have a clue what was going on, and he started noticing exotic cars. "Mommy, that's a Rolls Royce...that's a...", then the doors start to open and a gentleman welcomed us in. I said "Bennett, what are these?" and his face lit up like the fourth of July! "OH MY GOODNESS MOMMY! LAMBORGHINIS!!!". There were signs all over the place, "Do not touch the cars", I explained to the person that it was his birthday and that this was all he had asked for, just to SEE these cars. The man told him that he would do one better, opened the door, and said "Get on in, happy birthday buddy!". 

We spent about about an hour there talking about Lamborghinis. He got to sit in two of the cars, and the whole time in between a few sentences would say "Oh my goodness, I can't believe this is real. I can't believe I am sitting in a real Lambo, I could actually cry.". My heart was so happy that he was happy. 

When we walked out of the building he stopped, and gave me the biggest hug I think I had ever gotten from him, and he said "Thank you so much mommy, you're the best.". Music to a mother's ears. 

On Sunday, his actual birthday, we went to the Texas Road House and to see the new Avengers movie as a family, but all weekend he kept saying "I can't believe I saw a real Lamborghini.". 

I am so overjoyed that I made my military child, born in the month that we celebrate military children's, birthday one that he will never forget.