After the rain

This weeks blog posts are coming in from a rural town in North East Texas. Antoinette is the program manager of the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes Veteran Circle. You can learn more about Antoinette and her families story here https://saluteheroes.org/antoinette-batchelor/.

Charleston, Texas.

Its Tuesday morning here in North East Texas, the weather outside reflects the mood in our house today. A clearing of sorts after the rain. I’m sitting in my office, listening to my husband supervise breakfast in the kitchen,  blessed to be able to work from my house, especially during these summer months when our children are home.  

Yesterday was Memorial Day. My husband will be morose for at least another week. He takes the time to remember his fallen friends on Memorial day, and then punishes himself for the next week. Survivors guilt will eat him up. He will be short, ill tempered, sad, introspective. I’ll have to remind him to take his medication, to be patient with our children, to give his struggles to God. It’s an exhausting week for all of us.

Our oldest child is big enough now to recognize the pattern, he is learning when Daddy needs time alone, It breaks my heart that he has to learn that. Hes already starting to question at 5 why his Daddy isn’t like his friends Daddy. Its hard to explain to a child born after deployment. We don’t want to upset him, but we don’t want to keep it from him. We have many veteran friends, but he doesn’t really understand yet what that means. He sees soldiers on the television but doesn’t relate that to his Dad, I think my husband prefers it that way. He never mentions his time in service around our children, I think he’s sheltering them in a way, or sheltering himself. He doesn’t want the barrage of questions that come with a curious 5 year old and the knowledge that his father went to war. He doesn’t want it to change their view of him.

They’ll find out one day. I worry how he is going to handle those questions. I worry how hes going to feel the first time he hears our sons brag to one of their friends that their daddy has killed people. I’m not naive enough to believe it wont happen. Young men are prone to posturing, and it happens younger and younger. In a culture that glorifies violence I don’t think its something we will be able to avoid. I hope that our children are learning, from the people we surround them with, that war isn’t something to make light of. I guess only time will tell.

I think a coffee refill is in order. Neither of us sleep well this time of year.

Retiring Your Boots Post 2

 “Your mind will quit on you long before your body will!” – Donny Daughenbaugh

Donny was a United States Marine, his wife and caregiver Sarah works in the Heroes Thanking Heroes program. Donny was injured in Iraq in 2004 while on patrol in Mahmoudiyah, he took an AK-47 bullet to the face breaking his jaw, then entering his sinus cavity and stopping nearly an inch from his brain. This bullet still resides in his head today due to the location and the potential risk’s it could cause if surgery were an option. 

Donny served in the USMC for 6 years and prides himself on being very active and fit. He loved running, working out, and just being physically fit. He wasn’t going to let something like a bullet in his head slow him down. How could he? He was a Marine! Hard headed and stubborn! He wanted to prove not only to himself but his family that this injury wouldn’t define him or slow him down. He was still the same Donny that Sarah knew, loved, and married.

One day Sarah and Donny took their daughter to their favorite park that had a wonderful walking trail around a lake. It had only been 6 months since Donny had been home and he felt confident that, there had been enough time that had passed in his recovery for him to start getting active again. After they had finished their walk, Donny told Sarah that he was going to run around the trail one time on his own, it was only about a mile, and he didn’t stop…not one time. Donny started to approach his wife and Sarah knew something wasn’t right. He was pale and his eyes were huge and gasping for air.  He handed Sarah the keys and asked her to drive home. They lived 7 minutes away from the park, and it was the longest 7 minutes of their lives.

After that, Donny realized that he wasn’t quite ready for such intense activity. He took some time to really figure out what he could do and how far he could go with his injury and still stay healthy and safe.

Now, several years later, Donny and Sarah completed the Texas Tough Mudder TOGETHER! This was Donny’s 5^th and Sarah’s 4^th time running this INSANE obstacle course. There were several times Donny’s injury slowed him down, but he pushed through and made it to the finish!

“You’ve been given a second chance and no matter the obstacles, you can and will overcome your own barriers and live a life that you want, not what your injury wants.” – Sarah Daughenbaugh

Retiring Your Boots- Post #1

A little about us, The Heroes Thanking Heroes Program is part of the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes- which is a private non-profit organization dedicated to providing help to Veterans injured post 9/11 and their families. The Heroes Thanking Heroes Program specifically, is an employment opportunity. Veterans or caregivers who meet the eligibility requirements work part time from home in an online call center, calling and thanking our donors and giving updates about what their generous donations do for our wounded veterans and their families. This provides on the job training for those who are house bound to find more permanent positions with other call centers, and a supplemental income during hard financial times such as transitioning from Department of Defense pay to Veteran’s Affairs Pay.  

In this blog we will be sharing with you our veteran’s everyday life.  How this program’s flexible schedule helps them make it to their doctor’s appointments, and have more time with their family all while making an income.

The Urbany Family

One of the caregivers that work in our program and live in North Carolina is Jennifer Urbany; she is wife to injured veteran SPC Donald Urbany, who was injured by a car bomb in Baghdad, Iraq in 2005. They have 4 little boys and have been together for 11 years. Donald lost his right eye, has several shrapnel wounds and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury as a result of the blast. Jennifer came to the program in 2013. 8 weeks after having her third child she suffered two severe seizures and was rushed to UNC Hospital. She stayed for nearly a week and had multiple tests to see what caused these seizures. A few weeks went by and the medical bills started piling up, panic set in! 

How was Jennifer going to pay for all of these medical bills and still take care of her family? Jennifer was talking to her friend Antoinette who had been with the Heroes Thanking Heroes program for some time and knew that they could help. Jennifer applied for a position with the program, and shortly thereafter was hired. Since her employment with the program, she has been able to make all of her and her children’s doctor’s appointments, take care of her wounded husband and his hectic schedule, and take care of her family with much needed flexibility (Which you know she needs raising 4 boys and having a family of 6!). If you ask Jennifer today, she would tell you her job with the ‘Heroes Thanking Heroes Program’ and the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes are more than job opportunities, they are blessings! The Coalition has done more for Jennifer and her family than just provide a job; they helped when her family needed it the most. Jennifer and her family also attended the Coalition’s Road to Recovery Conference which also provided a much needed vacation for her family that helped Jennifer and Donald understand each other better, and strengthened their relationship.

The Heroes Thanking Heroes program is an amazing program that has helped so many other veterans and their families provide an income while caring for them or loved ones.

We hope to share with our readers what it means to live in the life of a veteran or caregiver, so that you can better understand the struggles of day to day life living with physical or invisible wounds.