One thing that is important for everybody, especially caregivers, is to find ways to blow off steam when experiencing stress and before it builds up. As caregivers finding time to do this can be increasingly difficult because we have all the normal responsibilities of daily life and “adulting” but also the added responsibilities that come with being a caregiver for our veterans. This blog will share a few ways I find that help me blow off steam. Personally, I use a specific tool depending on the feeling I may be having. For example, if I’m mad, I’ll do "this," and if I’m feeling down, I’ll do "that."
I'll share a few things I have found that works for me over my 18 years of caregiving. Some of these may work for you, some may be tools you’ve tried before, or they may not be the right fit for you. My best advice is to find what works for you. What helps you get centered? Because caregiver burnout is real, and usually, by the time you figure out you have it, not only you but also your relationships are greatly affected. I know because I have been there more than once, and it took me a long time to start looking for new tools or simply utilizing the tools I already had.
The first one I’m going to mention is “the 60-second pause”. There are apps out there like Calm or Pause that can be used for peaceful sounds. I recently found I love the meditation bowl sounds. You can do it anywhere relatively quiet if you prefer silence. The idea is to take 60 seconds which I modified a little; I do at least 5 minutes. Close your eyes and take deep breaths in and out; breathe out negative feelings, breathe in peace and positivity and you then give all your stress over to God (or your preferred higher power). While doing this, picture your idea of relaxation, whether it’s a beach by yourself listening to the waves, mountains, forest, or maybe your perfect peace is riding a motorcycle on the open roads. Whatever place you choose, picture yourself there and embrace and invoke the peace and tranquility you would feel if you were there at that moment. Usually, at the end of the time, you will feel a bit calmer and be able to address whatever is going on that is causing stress with a clearer head.
Another tool that all have heard of is exercising; not my favorite thing, but I have tried to be a little more creative. My daughter and I like to play the "how to do ____ dance" youtube videos, and we spend 10-15 minutes trying to learn a particular dance. Honestly, I wouldn’t call it dancing per se, but she and I have a lot of fun doing it together, and that is all that matters because nothing relieves stress better than laughter. Something I had up at our old house was a punching bag, and I loved it!!! The idea is to think outside of the box. You don’t have to go to the gym; there are so many videos out there on youtube that can guide you through a variety of exercises like yoga, calisthenics, and various workouts that don’t require any equipment at all.
Another way to blow off steam is writing or journaling. The thing I heard from many people when offering this is that they don’t know how to start. Well, in all reality, there is no wrong way to do it. You don’t even need a journal to start. All you need is a pen and a piece of paper to write on. From there, you just write like you’re talking to your best friend. There is no need to worry about grammar or proper English, no format, and most of all, no need to censor yourself. You can write anything that comes to mind because you should be the only one seeing it. In this manner, you can write out all your thoughts, anger, and frustration, even if those thoughts aren’t how you feel in your heart. It’s a way to vent your grievances using any words you want. The words you hold back from saying to people who you're upset with but truly do care about. Once you’re done and you’ve gotten those things off your chest, it can give you the ability to move on to sorting out solutions to the problems you are facing more calmly and possibly save you from having to apologize for saying something you didn’t mean. When you're done writing, you can put your journal away or throw it away. The whole point is to vent out the stress and be able to move forward with sorting out the situation. I love to write, but I always don’t have a particular stressor at the time and have trouble thinking of a topic. I recently received this daily devotional that I really like called Life by Lisa Harper. It's witty, thought-provoking, and has funny real-life stories that I find spark a memory, and that’s what I write about.
These are just a few of some oldies but goodies with my own personal twists. You must find what works for you, and like me, you may need to spice it up a little or have a certain one for specific situations. The key is finding what works for you and utilizing it when you feel stress building up so you can avoid burning out or shutting down.
Written by a Veteran Caregiver
