Horse Power Heals

“There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.” - Winston Churchill

I see this quote every week when I take my husband to equine therapy, and I am a firm believer of it.

My husband grew up near farm country and many of his friends had horses, so naturally he spent a lot of time around them.  It wasn’t until after his tour to Iraq that he owned a horse himself.  He loved his Paint Horse so much!  However, once he separated from the military he moved from Oregon to Arizona, and had to make the tough decision to leave his horse, Piper, behind with friends.

A couple years ago someone suggested Joel try equine therapy to help with his PTSD.  After talking it over for several months, he reluctantly decided to try it.  Not because he didn’t love horses anymore or didn’t want to improve, but because the idea of leaving the house and meeting a new therapist was something he didn’t want to do.

Immediately, I could see a difference in my husband whenever he attended therapy.  Sometimes it was just while he was there, and other times it changed the trajectory of the day or week.  The difficulty was I had to get him there.  Some days leaving the house was simply too much.  However, if I could get him to equine therapy our day always went better.
Moving to Michigan this past year, I knew our transition would be rough, so before we moved I made finding an equine therapist a top priority.  Shortly after we arrived in Michigan my husband began attending equine therapy one to two times a week.

I still remember the first day we were trying out the new facility.  My husband went into a stall with a horse that had a wound near her eye.  The therapist told us Abby, the horse, wouldn’t let anyone get near it.  Within about 15 minutes of my husband talking, brushing, and petting Abby she let him apply ointment on her wound to help speed up the healing process.  The therapist said every time someone comes to the facility for the first time something special happens.  This was it for my husband!  He was hooked again!

A Vacation For The Books

For 6 months, my family planned and packed for a vacation we would never forget.

On August 30, 2018, my family (for the first time altogether) flew to Fort Lauderdale Florida. Waiting 2 days for The Harmony of the Seas, we walked around and saw the beach. We enjoyed being together!

On Saturday, September 1, we gathered all of our luggage and headed towards the port. As we walked onto the ship, my children giggled with excitement! My heart was so overjoyed!! They were very excited and ready to spend the week together, eating and swimming!

Every night different events were happening on the ship. Our favorite was the parade! We danced, sang, and had so much fun! We ate many different types of food too!!

Our first stop was Haiti! Our family got off the boat and walked across the dock. We ate Haitian food and enjoyed the crystal blue waters!

Stopping in Jamaica was also a fantastic time! We walked around the markets and took a cab ride around the island. It’s so neat to see how differently people live! I had my hair braided on the island. I was amazed by how small she was able to braid my hair!!

Our final stop was Cozumel! This was by far my favorite stop!! I had been looking forward to eating REAL Mexican food! We were porter here for around 8 hours. That gave us plenty of time to do so many fun things!! We ate, shopped, danced, and even got carinated while we ate! The food was amazing! It was crazy how cheap things were there! We bought souvenirs for everyone and headed back to the boat after 5 hours!

Needless to say, this trip was amazing!! The boat itself was so big, we had plenty to keep us busy on it! We watched Broadway shows, ice skating shows, and aquatic shows! This is a vacation my family will never forget!!! The best week we’ve had in a long time!!

By: Melissa R, Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative and Veteran Caregiver

Family Time in Paradise

This month of blogging began with preparation and packing for our trip to Hawaii.  With only 46 hours until we head home, I’m doing my best to delay the packing of our suitcases.  Instead, I’m happily staring out the window into a tropical paradise.  Can this view EVER get old?

This trip has been a HUGE blessing for us, and came at a wonderful time with some much-needed rest and relaxation!  However, it wasn’t always easy, and we definitely had days spent more inside than outside, and activities cut short because the stress of being outside the home was just too much.

Even though we had our challenges, I am super proud of my husband because I know he was working really hard to get out and enjoy these islands with me.  One of the things we did to make this trip work was to plan for downtime each day where he could have his time to relax back in our room.  We brought puzzle books to keep his mind busy, discussed in detail activities we would be doing to put his mind at ease, and always had snorkeling gear & tennis shoes in the vehicle just in case a waterfall or beach was calling us to explore it!
The best part of the trip besides all the beaches, delicious food, coffee fields, breathtaking views at the Na Pali Coast & Waimea Canyon, lava flows, rainforests, and dolphins was spending time with family.

Not only did we get to spend time with my husband’s parents, his brother, and sister-in-law who all live on the opposite side of the country from us, but I also met Joel’s family on the Big Island for the first time.  What a treat to see a glimpse into my husband’s childhood through all the reminiscing!

It was also an honor to spend time with my husband’s parents as they celebrated their 40th anniversary.  40 years is a wonderful milestone, so naturally, we asked for advice on how to make it to 40 years.  They just giggled and smiled at each other.  Eventually, they came up with making sure to listen to each other as well as the famous, “Yes dear.”

From what I’ve seen in their marriage, I might add their marriage hasn’t always been easy, but they have never given up on each other, and continue to choose daily to love one another.  My in-laws have worked hard to communicate and still do romantic things... After all, this was a surprise trip to my mother-in-law for their anniversary!

Only 34 more years for us to catch up to their 40 years of marriage, and only 45 more hours until we head back home! -Tiffany S. Heroes Thanking Heroes Team Lead and Veteran Caregiver

Back to School 2018

"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." -Aristotle

It's Official! School is back in session for our Heroes Thanking Heroes veteran families! BIG smiles for now, We sure hope it lasts!! 😃

Counting My Blessings

The big trip to Hawaii is underway, and I could not be more thankful for this experience with family!  While it has been wonderful connecting with everyone, the absence of our daily routine of appointments and household responsibilities has been refreshing.  At home, it seems like my mind is going a million miles per hour (what time is that appointment, will that noise trigger my husband’s PTSD, what’s for dinner, did you take your meds, why are the sprinklers on when it’s been raining all day?).

Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative, Tiffany S.,
caregiver to her husband Joel

This isn’t a bad thing necessarily, but here on the islands, I can feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders.  I’m not sure exactly what that weight is, but I’m a big fan of it not being there!  With this way of life, I have started to think more clearly.

Actually, this pondering life thing started the moment we hit the road for vacation.  Is there such thing as vacation brain?  If so, I must have it!  The first leg of our trip was a 4-hour drive to Chicago.  I’m pretty sure that last hour or so I didn’t do much thinking, except saying over and over to myself, “I am thankful I don’t drive in a big city every day.”  Some people live for the big city, but after this trip, I can say it is not for me.

As my husband was sleeping in the passenger seat, I heard a song on the radio called “Counting Every Blessing” by Rend Collective.  “I am counting every blessing, counting every blessing” was repeated over and over until it clicked, I am blessed and I should be counting my blessings.   

There are so many things that I am thankful for, but I often take my focus off them and put it on what appears to be going wrong, or at least not going according to my plan.  This vacation has reminded me that I have a lot to be grateful for, and I have started a gratitude journal to get myself back into thinking more positively.

One thing I am very grateful for is the ability to work in the Heroes Thanking Heroes Program.  Not only do I have a wonderful support system & family in the HTH Program, but I have the opportunity to connect with incredible donors who are truly making a difference in the lives of so many veteran families.  This position allows me the flexibility to provide the care my husband needs at home on a daily basis, as well as attend every appointment with him.  I am incredibly thankful for this!

Have you written a gratitude journal before?  It can be as simple as this- Before you go to bed, write down 3 things you are thankful for from the day.  They don’t have to be big things either.  I mean, Let’s be real, I am very thankful when we hit all the green lights on our way to the doctor's office!  After a week, month, or even a year, take a look back through the journal. I’m sure you and I both will be amazed at all the blessings in our lives.

9/11/2001 Never Forget

9/11/2001 8:46 a.m.

American Airlines Flight 11 crashes into floors 93-99 of the North Tower of the World Trade Center, killing the 81 passengers and 11 crew members on board and hundreds inside the building. 

9/11/2001 9:03 a.m.

United Airlines Flight 175 crashes into floors 75-85 of the World Trade Center's South Tower, killing everyone on board and hundreds more inside the building.

9/11/2001 9:37 a.m.

Flight 77 crashes into the western facade of the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., killing the 59 aboard the plane and 125 military and civilian personnel inside the building.

9/11/2001 9:59 a.m.

The South Tower of the World Trade Center collapses.

9/11/2001 10:07 a.m.

After passengers and crew members aboard the hijacked flight 93 contact friends and family to learn about the attacks in New York and Washington, they mount an attempt to retake the plane. In response, hijackers deliberatly crash the plane into a field in Somerset County, Pennsylvania, killing all passengers and crew on board. 

9/11/2001 10:28 a.m. 

The World Trade Center's North Tower collapses, 102 minutes after being struck by Flight 11.

9/11/2001 5:20 p.m.

The World Trade Center collapses after burning for hours; the building had been evacuated in the morning, and there are no casualties, though the collapse forces rescue workers to flee for their lives.

9/11/2001 8:30 p.m.

President Bush addresses the nation, calling the attacks "evil, despicable acts of terror" and declaring that America, its friends and allies would "stand together to win the war against terrorism."

Today, we remember the thousands of lives lost and each and every person who stepped up during America's time of great need. Our continued prayers for those who serve because of 9/11/2001 and all who have sacrificed in our ongoing fight against terror. May we #NeverForget.

A Trip 6 Years in the Making

I’m sitting here staring a luggage thinking in less than 42 hours we will be on a plane heading to Hawaii!  I keep pinching myself to make sure this is real.  So far all the pinches hurt, so it must be happening!   A trip like this has been a dream of mine for what seems like forever.

With all the anticipation and excitement I have, I am also in that frantic mode of crossing all the “t’s” and dotting all those “I’s” to make sure we have everything we could possibly need for this vacation.  Along with that, I have read travel blogs & magazines, studied maps for airports, and printed off our itinerary just in case.  
The checklist has been printed, and the packing is down to throwing the toiletries into the carry-on.  We have all the essentials, clothes, medical devices, first aid kit, and I’m sure a few extras in there.  We started with high hopes of only taking a carry on and a personal item each in order to save money on luggage fees, but it proved to be quite the challenge.  We have since moved on to adding one checked bag and a surfboard that is due for spending some time in the salt water!
While my excitement is building, I see my husband getting more and more anxious.  With frequent conversations to assure him of the details, I can see him feeling a little more at ease.  I know once we get there, he will enjoy it, but for now, it’s one day at a time.  From my husband’s deployment to Iraq he suffers from PTSD, a TBI, and a variety of physical issues that keep him from getting out of the house, let alone traveling by plane.

So how did this trip to Hawaii come about?  I sometimes wonder, do you even need a reason to go to Hawaii?  Before I would just say go, but it’s not that simple and not that easy for us.

This trip to Hawaii was a honeymoon promised to me over six years ago when we were married.  My husband’s mother was born in Hawaii, and he has family there to this day.  Naturally, he spent many summers soaking up the Hawaiian sunshine.  Out of his love for the islands, when we got married, he told me he wanted to take me there for our honeymoon.  The idea sounded great to him, and of course to me too, but the reality of getting on a plane and going to Hawaii created a lot of anxiety for my husband, and we never went.
Earlier this year we received a call from my father-in-law asking us to join them in Hawaii for their 40th wedding anniversary.  My husband’s response was, “I think Tiffany’s face says yes.”  Apparently, I had a HUGE smile on my face.  I couldn’t believe we would be invited to participate in such a wonderful milestone for my husband’s parents, and to do it in Hawaii was the icing on the cake!
Over the last few months, there have been moments where we weren’t sure we were truly going to make it to Hawaii, but I sit here still staring at that luggage and the shrinking to-do list to tell you we are heading out on a jet plane in less than 41 hours!

-Tiffany S. -Heroes Thanking Heroes Team Lead