Nose Prints

Here we are at the end of February 2021.  The whole entire country was cold last week.  Texas is making world news as it is in a state of emergency.  Here in Minnesota, we were consistently in the negatives.  I tried to clean dog nose prints off the outside of my back door, and the Windex instantly froze. The nose prints had to stay.  We have an extra refrigerator in our garage for sodas and extra groceries. I had to take the soda out and bring them inside because they were freezing and exploding.  At least we had heat, electricity, and water. Sometimes life is about perspective. Or is it?  Can that honestly be applied to every situation?

When the temperatures dropped that low here last week, my husband could not get his pain under control. He was nervous about moving to Minnesota because his back and nerve pain are amplified in the cold.  He just keeps pushing through. Countless nights he has laid awake as one hour turns to two into three.  Then after what seems a lifetime, the sun is coming up.  He has told me before he lays there and thinks, “Okay, if I can fall asleep in thirty minutes, I can get five hours of sleep.” Five then turns into four, that turns into three, you get the point.  Whenever I wasn’t working, and before we had kids, I would try and keep him company.

Where am I going with this? I often wonder what quality of life my husband has right now.  He is moving forward in such determination and doing so wonderfully. He is not letting his injuries hold him back.  But I can see what that costs him on a daily basis.

Written by: Joanie, Veteran Caregiver & HTH Representative

Reminiscing a Decade Later

Do you ever go back to a moment where you feel like your life really “began?”

The next couple months, I’ll be reminiscing on a decade ago and the events that changed everything for me, when I feel like my life began and my purpose was found.  

February 2011

I’d spent the second half of February feeling so excited and eager in my relationship and content in what my future would be. I was absolutely ecstatic that after being deployed nine months, Jack was home on his two-week mid-tour leave. I had spent every second of the 14 days he was back in Minnesota on his arm, skipping my college classes and work just to squeeze in one more minute of time with him. The last night he spent at home before heading back to Afghanistan to finish his tour, he got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of our lives together. That would be the last time he’d ever have the ability to get down on a knee. The next morning, we didn’t talk much as we drove to the airport. The sadness that hung between us and the uncertainty of when we would talk or see one another again was just heartbreaking for my newly engaged self. I tearfully hugged him goodbye at the airport and watched him walk away. As soon as he was out of sight, I sat down and sobbed. The excitement of our engagement was quickly shadowed by the immediate loneliness I felt. All I could do now was wait and hope. Three months left of his tour. Then I would move to Ft. Campbell, Kentucky, we’d get married, and I’d finish out college at Austin Peay State University. We had it all planned out…..

Little did I know, the journey was just beginning, and in only a week, my whole world was going to be flipped upside down. The future I had all planned out, obliterated.

Written By: Megan Zimmerman, Veteran Caregiver & Veteran's Caregiver Alliance Committee Member

Who's in Your Corner

I never do or say things with ill intention. Rarely wake up in bad moods, and I'm normally pretty even-tempered. I usually say what's on my mind or what has upset me, and that's when I get in trouble. I feel like my circle has gotten much smaller over the years. With that being said, I am not sure if it's because I am getting older or if I'm just having a harder time relating to people. Maybe that's what happens as you get older?

Our family felt the most support when my husband was first injured. That's expected. But as time went on, it's as if people stop caring, get tired of caring, or think you're supposed to be able to just move on with your life. Now, don't get me wrong, we have both worked very hard to keep pushing through and to become the best version of ourselves (something we will always work on). The last thing we wanted was to become a charity case or having people look upon us with pity. At first, it was okay; our world was shattered, and we needed help to put the pieces back together, and that's okay.  

I know that everyone has struggles in their lives, like I mentioned in my last post. I think if this pandemic has taught us anything, it's that you have to surround yourself with people that want to be in your life and are there because they want to be. Also, I think it has shown the true side of this country and the people in it. There were organizations and people that stepped up to help, and others who looted stores and were price gouging on essential items. There are two types of people. There are givers and there are takers. Those that try to understand and those that don't care to understand.

Okay, where am I going with this? My husband and I rely strongly on our faith and trust in God. But we have also found that we need to surround ourselves with those who make us better and vice versa. Those who will tell us the truth, even when we don't want to hear it. To give us a gentle reminder that we are facing issues many of our peers across the country are simply unaware of. Less than 10% of the population has served in the military. It was not something I thought about until I was married to someone that was wounded in combat.

Written By: Joanie, Veteran caregiver & HTH Representative

Thank You

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth." Muhammad Ali

A new normal. It was very overwhelming, inspiring, and unfamiliar at the same time. Back in 2010, when my husband was injured, we were babies. He had seen and experienced the unimaginable. I was more scared to take him home from the hospital for the first time than when we brought home our first baby. Praise the Lord we were blessed with two healthy babies. I know this is not always the case. It was so seamless and natural feeling with our children. With my husband, I remember speaking with the nurse before we left, asking all kinds of questions about medications, dressing changes, and “what ifs.” I think she heard the fear in my voice and saw the despair in my eyes. I was ecstatic he was coming home but felt so ill-prepared for it. This is something I feared, and I would take him in any condition as long as he came back. A new normal is not something you can control and is forever.

In our journey, our lives are continuously changing and evolving, our new normal has remained consistent. We’ve become parents, moved twice, my husbands gotten his master’s degree, and we are now homeschooling during a global pandemic. Man, has it been a ride!!

There have been countless individuals and organizations that have stepped in to help us along the way. I can honestly say I don’t know where we would be without the support and generosity of others. The world is so much better with those who are willing to lend a hand. Whether it be to a wounded veteran and family or anyone else that finds themselves in an undesirable situation, it’s the generosity and compassion of people and organizations that make the world go around. Today I just want to say thank you to all those who have helped us and thank you to all of those who help others!

Written By: Joanie, Veteran caregiver & HTH Representative

Weathering the Storms

With the holidays over, I feel like I survived a tsunami.  Okay, not really that is a bit dramatic. In December, my friend sent me a meme that made my day.  “I’m just saying that Santa gets all the credit, but you just know that Mrs. Clause is losing her ever-loving mind to get things done and is probably threatening to cancel Christmas.” It still makes me laugh, and it’s February.  I tend to run on the laid back side; however, nobody can keep it together 100% of the time.

Living in Minnesota put us literally in the middle of nowhere.  At least that’s how I feel right now. We moved here in the middle of the COVID pandemic, so meeting people has been next to impossible. Like many other parents, I was struggling to complete distance learning with a very active 1 ½-year-old.  Let me elaborate on active. He uses the handles on the cabinet drawers to climb onto the counter and then jump down. He thinks it’s fun.  I can see it in my future, I walk into the house, and he’s hanging from the ceiling fan yelling, “Swiiiiiing,” with a smile on his face laughing those good ol’ belly laughs.  

Like many, we were desperate to be around family for the holidays. Against the advice of many professionals, and contrary to popular opinion, we traveled during the holidays. We were blessed to have a company volunteer to fly us straight from Minnesota to Texas. But… we had no idea how we were going to get back. I was considering staying down there longer so I could have some help for the reasons stated above, including the mental health of both my children and myself.

All of these things were happening while my veteran was working out of town. He is currently completing a fellowship program at the Mayo Clinic. He often works 12- hour shifts, multiple days in a row. Many people do this all over the country, all the time. However, if he hasn’t slept, it doesn’t matter. If he’s in pain, it doesn’t matter. Time waits for no one; the world doesn’t stop spinning. I often find myself scrambling to fill in the cracks that are trying to break the foundation we are trying to build. I guess that’s life, right?  I think this year has people feeling similar on a global scale.  The whole world is feeling some of the chaos, isolation, and new normal that many of our wounded veterans and families are all too familiar with.  

~Joanie, Veteran caregiver & HTH Representative