Happy Halloween from our HTH Families!

The Fall festivities are in full force for our Heroes Thanking Heroes Veteran families! 

Take a look at the spooky and fun costumes the kids are trick or treating in! Happy Halloween!

Chamberlyn, 8yrs old shares her excitement- 

“This year I’m going as “red” a fraggle from Fraggle Rock 80’s tv show and my mom made my costume for me. I’m excited to look just like her. I’m also looking forward to getting a bunch of candy trick or treating. I also love seeing all the cars decorated for trunk or treat too!” 

Kaelyn, 8 yrs old, shares her excitement-

"What I'm most excited for on Halloween is the candy! I like candy but what I like the most about Halloween is having fun with my family. Especially my Dad because he always is the funniest and the scariest on Halloween because he helps me when somebody is dressed scary. He distracts them and they start asking questions about him having no legs. If my family, and especially my Dad were not here, I would not like Halloween."

Heroes Freedom Weekend with the Thompson’s

My husband and I just recently returned from the Heroes Freedom Weekend in NYC.  It isn't often that my husband and I get to do anything only the two of us.  This was actually the first time in over two years since we got to get away alone.  My husband was on the fence about going to NYC.  He was worried about crowds and travel.  He suffers from mental health issues, and things like that are very hard for him.  In fact, the night before he was having second thoughts and considering not going.  He was already having panic attacks and he had not even left the house.

The Coalition had made all travel arrangements and thankfully we were able to fly out of our local airport which is smaller and getting through TSA was a breeze.  Once we arrived at the airport in NYC, we were greeted by several of the Veteran and Caregivers that work in the Heroes Thanking Heroes program.  The whole weekend was great from start to finish we were able to spend time getting to know other veteran couples.  We reconnected with some couples we met several years ago. 

It is a great comradery  that veterans have with other veterans.  They don't have to be from the same branch of the military.  They don't have to have experienced the same trauma.  It is often hard when a Veteran gets out of the military.  They struggle to find where they belong because being in the military and with other veterans is what they are used to.  It is what they trained for.  The Coalition to Salute America's Heroes knew that when they were planning this trip.  They knew that sometimes Veterans are not able to do things they want to do alone because it is just too much for them.  Because of all the time and careful planning, we were able to have a once in a lifetime experience. 

The trip was a great combination of couples workshops to work on marriage and communication, as well as getting to experience some of the sights of NYC, spending time alone with my husband and spending time with other couples.  We made some lasting friendships.  I knew when we signed up for this trip that my husband although he always wanted to go to NYC and see the 9/11 Memorial Museum and the Statue of Liberty he wouldn't go alone.  I knew that for him it was too overwhelming and stressful to be in such a busy city.  Something about being with other veterans, and in a large group made it manageable.  Knowing that someone had his back made it a little bit better. 

I can't thank the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes and the Donors that made this trip possible enough.  My husband and I really needed some time to reconnect. 

-Christine Thompson; Heroes Thanking Heroes representative, veteran caregiver and attendee of the 2018 Heroes Freedom Weekend.

To learn how you can help support our mission in rebuilding the lives of severely wounded post 9/11 veterans, visit the Coalition's website at www.saluteheroes.org

Heroes Freedom Weekend: A Little R&R for the Rileys

Wow! Let me just start off by saying how amazing it was to be selected to go on the trip to New York City with The Coalition to Salute America's Heroes for Heroes Freedom Weekend. It was definitely an opportunity of a lifetime that my husband and I are deeply grateful for!

First of all, my husband and I have three beautiful children who consume our lives with their various activities. From football to piano lessons to gymnastics to church services, we dedicate most of our lives to the growth of our children. We do not resent that! However,  we were given this opportunity to be alone in New York City, and we definitely wanted to jump on.

I was beyond excited as I had never been to New York before. My husband had been before, but not me. It seems we couldn’t have come at a more busier time. The United Nations were meeting in downtown Manhattan and that is exactly where we happened to be staying. The cab ride was exciting and nerve-racking, to say the least, haha! The hotel accommodations were phenomenal and comfortable. Everybody from the Coalition welcomed us with a smile and with a hug to make us feel just like family.

As the week went on, we toured several sites in New York City. We went to the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, the 9/11 memorial site, Time Square, and many other amenities that New York has to offer. Everything was organized and stuck to the schedule that was given to us.

What we liked most about the trip wasn’t necessarily the city, but it was that we felt a sense of family outside our natural families. To be quite frank, we felt loved and for that- it was priceless. So on behalf of my Husband and I, we want to say thank you to the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes, not just for a great trip, but for welcoming us in as a part of the family.

-Melissa Riley, Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative, veteran caregiver, and attendee of the 2018 Heroes Freedom Weekend.

To learn how you can help support our mission in rebuilding the lives of severely wounded post 9/11 veterans, visit the Coalition's website at www.saluteheroes.org

Let Them Be

Let Them Be

By: Hugo Gonzalez

Accepting the reality that we are already at the center of this school year, a reality that seems to be a lie because of the rapidity that use to unravel for our wounded military families, but we know that from one moment to another you can also take a desperate, overwhelming slowness ... if you are a wounded military family or if you know one … you know well what I am referring to. My point is that by this time our children are already established in the routine, they know well what their obligations are, to cope with the injuries of their parents and how to accommodate their school year lifestyle and it's requirements. They know well in which subject they are solid and if it were the case, in which subject they may need reinforcement, to finish their school year satisfactorily. In the case of our house, our daughters compete to maintain the honor roll.

This is precisely where the line of thought that led me to write these lines begins to take shape. The pride I feel for my daughters, not to mention for my entire family, has been transcribed to a feeling of respect which emerges and reconfirms itself at the least expected moment. It has happened to me in recent days, and I explain below.

With the typical contagious motivation that our family vehicle embarks during the afternoons when we pick them up at school, each day one of our three daughters takes a turn. They negotiate a little more time between them to relate and share with us the events of the school day, the achievements of the homework of the previous day, and the new challenges assigned to them by their teachers. They know well that from the school, there are approximately 17 minutes on the road and it is a system that we have applied throughout their school career. It's THEIR time and they enjoy it a lot. It is also a very good opportunity for us to learn how their day was, if something extraordinary happened that deserves our attention and more about them in their school environment. 

One day, in particular, the emotion came out through the pores. Two of our daughters are twins and share the same classroom while the youngest is in fifth grade. Practically shouting with emotion, they informed us that the school would participate in a writing competition, promoted by the state of Florida, in which they had to submit a composition in the form of an essay that did not exceed 400 words. The first place winner will receive a $5000.00 prize.

The topics … 

For the 5th grader: WHAT A VETERAN MEANS TO ME … and … for the twins in 7th grade- WHY DO I HONOR THE FLAG?

Wow... Really?  I want to clarify that these issues were assigned by the state, and the girls did not choose them as such, but obviously, it is a topic that in one way or another is closely related to our lifestyle and our environment. An environment that they certainly did not have the opportunity to choose, but they (like many of us) embrace and respect, as a basis of life, or very deep in the heart.  We spoke again about respect and emotions were strong as we arrived at the house. By 7pm, they began to bring me the first sketches, showing me how they were able to shape the ideas that they tried to organize in their writings. Of course, I motivated them and activated the confidence they felt when undertaking this challenge, because as a whim of fate, these specific topics touched each of them very closely, belonging to a military wounded family, as they are the daughters of a veteran wounded in the Iraq war.

A great effort I had to deploy to be able to contain myself. Perhaps without wanting to influence the writing style of my daughters or the sheer fact they made it clear they wanted to be the ones who built this essay, I was happy they still came to me, looking for approval and guidance with some data that by their young age they had no way of knowing. For example, they asked me how many people had died in war... they also asked me which war was the one that I participated in.

A great surprise for me, as they were arriving, as the writings were surfacing, in the same way, my pride arose. I was impressed by how clear my daughter's had established the concept and respect about what can inspire the figure of a veteran of the United States.  Also extremely impressive, was the high level of patriotism that our children can carry, so deep in their being and at such a young age. They presented me with inspiring paragraphs like this one; “This family shows me how much people care for our veterans who risk their lives for us to be here, they risked their lives for us to be in a safe community, and they risked their lives for better people. Veterans to me mean that they care for anything and everything, even for little things, those little things make them happy inside. When I think of a veteran, I think of my dad, and I think of all the things he did for our country” -Lorelei Gonzalez, 5th grade 

"Also, as deep and as personal as this; I’ve met family’s that had an injured family member who fought in the war. You can ask them if it is easy to forget what happened, but really the fight never stops which is what most people think, after the war they put down their guns and all is fine, but it’s not like that. The war still goes on inside. They suffer with medical conditions and dreams of torturing nights they faced while fighting. It’s not easy with a scary image in your head of an event that’s unforgettable.” Leilany Gonzalez, 7th Grade 

This is what Leila wrote in one paragraph; "My dad is who I mostly honor this flag for…  My father fought in the war of Operation Iraqi Freedom.  My father could have died due to his severe injuries.  Brain injury, bullet wound, and fully blind in his right eye and barely any vision left in his left.  The worst injury is how he never forgets what happened that day he almost lost his life… I was not born before that, yet I still live with the task to take care of my father and be cautious.  I’m proud to say my dad fought for this country." -Leila Gonzalez, 7th grade 

As you can read in these paragraphs, I do not think that my pride is for any exaggerated or excessive reason. It should be a great motivation incentive for any father, especially for a father in the situation in which I find myself, to recriminate about the participation and involvement that I have in the lives of my daughters. I would like to have much more involvement than what I believe I am currently having …. as you know we military are very self-critical.

But this is exactly why I have been motivated to write this story. To motivate other parents in my situation or in a situation like mine, to trust in the programming and in the values that you are inculcating in your children, despite your deep military wounds acquired in the war, our children and our families understand more and understand more than we can imagine. 

In this case, my daughters have given me a lesson in life, one of the many I would like to rectify, that fills me with confidence that in the future they will also be respectable citizens of this great nation, just let them be.

First One Up, Last One to Bed

There are numerous types of people in this world. There are the courageous, there are intellectuals, and there are peacemakers. Few of us embody ALL of these qualities, and we call ourselves caregivers.

Hello! My name is Rebecca Watts. I grew up a military brat, blessed with the opportunity to explore the world while my parents served our great nation. My stepfather did two tours to Iraq. During his deployment, he was blown up 16 times, shot, and pronounced dead on the battlefield. His last IED was in April of 2006 where he was medevacked to Germany for a broken back.  He has permanent hardware in his back, neck, face, right shoulder, PTSD, TBI, and spinal cord damage. My mother deployed to Afghanistan where her truck got hit by an IED in August 2006. She sustained a back injury, PTSD, and TBI. I was their caregiver for 5 years before I married my husband, Justin.

My husband served in the military for almost 10 years. It was his lifelong dream to serve our country. He joined in 2007 (split ops) in between our junior and senior year of high school, he completed basic training during summer break and returned back to complete his senior year of high school. He deployed to Afghanistan twice. During his second deployment in 2012, he was injured by a VBID while on a mission. He has had three reconstructive surgeries, TBI, and PTSD. We have four beautiful children! Scott 6yrs old, Brianna 2 years old and 1year old twins Jason and Raelynn.

Throughout my life’s journey, I have always been the glue that holds the pieces together for my loved ones. I know that I was given a special heart to be able to see the best in everyone. It takes clarity when everything is chaotic, an ear that hears what is not being said out loud, but most importantly determination to persevere and thrive. As crazy as my life has been, I would do it a million times over because it is my calling to give care to the ones that I love. Being a caregiver means you are the first one up, the last one to bed, and a heart that is filled with love.

I'll Never Quit. My Alive Day Story, By: Donny Daughenbaugh

Ok, when I was wounded I knew there would be problems later in life. What I didn't know is that after 14 years, the number of problems that would come from JUST the bullet staying in my head. This sucks. 

 

There are days where it feels like someone is sitting on my shoulders using a small blow torch on part of my neck. It feels like I'm being burnt down to the bone in my neck. Other days it feels like my head is being pulled or scrunched sometimes at different times, sometime at the same time. The arthritis and nerve pain have certainly taken a toll on my quality of life and some days are harder than others. Do you see the picture I'm painting. It's a little sadder, maybe a little darker than some of my previous Alive Day posts. This one however, may be the most honest and unfiltered. 

 

Chronic pain really does wear you down. It makes you different and a lot of time when you're dealing with chronic pain, it feels like your wearing a mask. A mask that says "I'm ok" or "it's not that bad" and the only purpose of the feeling of wearing a mask is so I don't have to seem like I'm complaining if I give a more honest answer. 

 

I've made it this far with only using Ibuprofen, Tylenol, chiropractic care and the left overs from a 2017 bottle of pain medication from surgery. The bottle of pain pills started with 30 in April of 2017. Today, there are about 5 left. Not bad if you ask me and what I've discovered is that you can increase your personal pain threshold with comfort being a primary tradeoff. I'm also looking into a variety of CBD oils that can help to greatly (and naturally) reduce inflammation, reduce pain and yes- even improve my mood. 

 

After all these years with this "condition" do you wanna know what you still don't hear me say, and won't EVER? 

 

I quit. I'm done. I want this to end or the pain is too great. You'll never hear those words come out of my mouth, ever. 

 

My life has become so much more than just me in it. My wife Sarah is the reason that, even after a horrible night of sleep, I still look forward to waking up. To wake up and see the woman that has stood by my side since 2003, even before my injury. She has seen the highs and lows and has been my inspiration to be the man my kids deserve, not just who they have. She's my wife, my partner in this life, the mother of my children and my best friend. I'd be lost without her and I make it a point to tell her that often. 

 

My (3) kids are also the best part of my day. Hell, they're the best part of me. I see my oldest daughter whose a genius, basketball player, swimmer, diver and water polo player with the biggest heart and prettiest smile you'll ever see and I'm just blown away that I had a part in her creation. My 10 year old son is "my dude" and when we play video games together or go fishing, he reminds me how special the bond is between a father and a son. My beautiful little 1 year old has more personality than Sarah and I put together and she just lights up a room when she smiles. Her growing, getting in to stuff, sharing hugs and sloppy kisses are worth every day of pain that I live with. 

 

I'm here for the long run and for these reasons and so much more, I'll never quit. I'll have a prosthetic head or neck loooooong before I ever give up on this life. My injury has been quite vexing, especially as of late but, it has led me to the most amazing life with the most amazing team of veterans, caregivers and colleagues I could ever hope for. The Coalition has become an intricate part of so many lives because of this bullet in my head. I guess it can't be that bad right? 

 

Just wait till next year......huge party for the 15th Alive Day for this guy!

Monday

Monday was a busy, busy day. I had to go to the gym, grocery shop, put the groceries away and get some laundry done ALL before my kids got home. Then, when my kids got home, I Had to help with some homework and cook dinner, all before my nail appointment. Keeping my nails done is the one thing I do for myself, when I can squeeze it into the budget.

I work 3 jobs. My first and most important jobs is Mom, Wife, and Caregiver to a wounded Veteran. Then I work one out of the home in the evenings Tuesday through Saturday, and the other I work at home around my schedule as long as I meet my hours.

 Why not just work not one full time job you ask? As the wife of a wounded veteran life can sometimes be a roller-coaster. With two jobs, my evening out of the home job and my position with the Heroes Thanking Heroes program, allows me the flexibility to care for my husband if he needs me, and be a full time mother to my 4 boys.

This work from home opportunity provided by the Coalition to Salute America's Heroes, Heroes Thanking Heroes program has given me the freedom to help bring extra income into our home of four very hungry little boys, and to be able to have appointments and run errands during the day, and not have to "take leave" or worry about other coworkers taking up for me and my missed work, because my work is always there waiting for me.

So back to Monday. On Monday I had two meetings, since we all work from home all meetings are done over the phone via conference line. My first meeting was for the Social Media team, my role on that team is posting my coworkers and teammates stories to share with you, our readers. That meeting was at 10AM EST, all of us who work for the Heroes Thanking Heroes program work from all over the country, so for me at 10AM I am at the gym. I wake up, get my kids to school, come home and eat breakfast with my youngest who is 2, and we go to the gym. This program allows me to call in to our conference line and join my team on the call, all while continuing my daily routine.

The next meeting was at 1pm, I had grocery shopping to do, weekends stay busy for my family, I work 8 ours all day Saturday, and Sunday we either spend the day at my in-laws or I have a lot of laundry to do. So Monday, I typically don't do much else other that grocery shop and wash more laundry for 6 people. With the flexibility of this position in the Heroes Thanking Heroes program, I was also able to attend this meeting while I was grocery shopping, on my way home, and I was still listening in while putting my groceries away.

This program is one of the biggest blessings that's ever come into my life, first it was to help pay medical bills, and to be able to take care of my family while at home. Now as my family has grown and appetite needs have changed it now helps with my $1,000/month food bill (That is not an over exageration.), and it helps me feel like I'm contributing to my family financially as well as physically because I can be there for my veteran and my kids at any time during the day that they need me, because those hours will be be there for me to work the next day.

For Those I Love, I Will Sacrifice- The Story of My Alive Day By: J.D. Williams

My name is SSG J.D. Williams (U.S. Army Ret.). I’ve had the privilege to fight in both the Iraq & Afghanistan wars as an Infantry soldier. I’ve met many great soldiers from all over the country, even some from other countries.  I took pride in my job and I trusted my brothers with my own life.  

My first tour in Iraq introduced me to death.  Almost every other day, we were seeing blood in the streets from the locals that had been taken by Taliban.  On one occasion, a car bomb detonated on a very busy street killing over 65 people and horribly wounding many more. I was 19 years old and felt like I was stuck in a war movie.  

By my second tour to Afghanistan, my life had changed in many ways. I had a wife now and a beautiful little girl back home.  I was in charge of a Scout Reconnaissance team, also known as the “Dream Team” This tour was much more psychological for me than the first because I had much more on the line.  We were attacked nearly everyday by the Taliban no matter if we were at our small compound or patrolling villages.  Over 80 firefights in the first 6 months there and my team never complained or backed down from a mission.  We simply grabbed our weapons and did what we were there to do. 

My Alive Day

On October 9th, 2010, I led a small 6 man recon team into a village that had a great deal of resistance. As we approached the village, I noticed 5 or 6 enemies close by about 50 meters away.  As I was raising my weapon, an IED detonated directly underneath me.  My whole life started flashing through my head and I could feel an ice-cold tingling sensation all over my body.  When I was able to maneuver myself to my back, I began checking myself for injuries.  I raised my left arm and noticed my fingertips were bloody. The Taliban began shooting at me. I tried to get up when I noticed my right arm was no longer there.  I pushed myself in the up-right position with my left arm so that I was sitting up.  My legs were gone as well.  I lay back down and started thinking about life.  Chaos going on all around me, I’m laid there thinking I may never see my family, friends, or Montana ever again. 

My brothers fighting along side me saved my life.  Risking their own lives, they quickly got me to safety and fought to get me a med-evac  in under 20 minutes, all while exchanging gunfire with the enemy.  Their selfless service is a daily reminder that God has greater plans for me.

Every year on October 9th, we celebrate.  We celebrate my Alive Day because I am alive and able to be here with my beautiful wife and daughter.  I also get to visit my home state of Montana often.  My injuries don’t hold me back and none of my brothers’ lives were lost that day.  I also celebrate because of the men and women who helped to get me where I am today- my brothers who risked their own lives to ensure I would keep mine, the many doctors and nurses who cared for me, and my family that constantly gives me a reason to keep going.

As soldiers, we faced the horrors of war and never backed down. That legacy lives on in my life beyond my time in the service.  I take pride in our country and the brave men and women who defend it.  I can honestly say that I would do it all again.  I can think of a hundred ways I could have died the day I stepped on that IED but I’m here and I’m extremely thankful for that.

Date Night

My name is Lacy.

This is one of many names I go by. Others are Mommy, Auntie, caregiver, friend, and Wifey, just to share a few. I have many jobs because of these names. Some know this means I am a cab driver, cheerleader, cook, teacher, unlicensed physical therapist, and doctor, among others. It is sometimes hard to define the lines between different titles and what hat I am supposed to be wearing. Some of these positions I chose, while others were thrust on me.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love my full plate as I have always been a healthy eater, however this means that often some simple fun things like date night are few and far between. My husband and I love each other very much, and I am beyond blessed that although he is injured from Operation Iraqi Freedom, I still have him. We were recently invited by some friends on a double date to an event being held for married and engaged couples. “It’s all planned out all you have to do is show up!” How exciting, right?!

In the days leading up to this event, we planned not only outfits but discussed the many triggers that may happen for my Loves PTSD, many times visiting the idea of it being too late to back out or not. We went over the layout of the building and fire exits. This is normal for any attempt to go anywhere for us, it has gotten easier over the years but definitely crosses out spontaneity.

The night of this event our kiddos are ready to visit Grandma, yet continuously asking a million questions. “When will you be back? Where are you going? Why can’t we go? Why do you need time alone? What happens if you don’t make it back in time? Is there a number we can call if your phone doesn’t work and we need you?” Easily we answer a few of these and others not so much. These questions I feel are somewhat normal and some because of secondary PTSD. I don’t hear my nieces and nephews ask most of these questions or my friend's children when I am babysitting them. Maybe my kiddies are just really nosey. They love going to Momos as long as they know Mom and Dad are just going to be waiting for them to come back home. Maybe they just can’t stand the thought of us having fun without them!



The evening kicked off with a bit of anxiety and a bunch of anticipation. The twenty-one question game from our babies certainly didn’t help calm these feelings. Date night isn’t a common word in our house, especially one we didn’t plan at all. When we arrived not knowing the itinerary at all. We met up with our friends (which, I might add is still a fresh relationship) and made our way inside. We took pictures, and not just selfies, someone else was actually handling the camera! We took our seats and had a lovely meal. We enjoyed some great music, played trivia (our team won!), got to know a little more about our friends and even met some new ones. Both of us full of smiles and laughter the entire time.

After the night had wrapped up, we get in the car questioning each other on why we don’t do this more often and why do we allow ourselves to get so intensely wound up about it. We truly must do this more often. We took hours going over preparing for this event that was a mere two hours plus the car ride alone. But I am so glad we did. We both realized we need to be more intentional about our bond. (Not the first time we have come to this obvious conclusion.) It is one that hasn’t been broken through all of the trials, and it is one that we need to take better care of. Our time alone together as just Mr. and Mrs. Mullen is more precious than any jewel, and we need to polish it.

I share this in hopes that another busy caregiver may take the chance to accept a date night. No matter the effort it takes to put into attending, it is worth the time you get to have just being Wifey; a hat that can get dusty and may sometimes feel a little tight.