Date Night

My name is Lacy.

This is one of many names I go by. Others are Mommy, Auntie, caregiver, friend, and Wifey, just to share a few. I have many jobs because of these names. Some know this means I am a cab driver, cheerleader, cook, teacher, unlicensed physical therapist, and doctor, among others. It is sometimes hard to define the lines between different titles and what hat I am supposed to be wearing. Some of these positions I chose, while others were thrust on me.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love my full plate as I have always been a healthy eater, however this means that often some simple fun things like date night are few and far between. My husband and I love each other very much, and I am beyond blessed that although he is injured from Operation Iraqi Freedom, I still have him. We were recently invited by some friends on a double date to an event being held for married and engaged couples. “It’s all planned out all you have to do is show up!” How exciting, right?!

In the days leading up to this event, we planned not only outfits but discussed the many triggers that may happen for my Loves PTSD, many times visiting the idea of it being too late to back out or not. We went over the layout of the building and fire exits. This is normal for any attempt to go anywhere for us, it has gotten easier over the years but definitely crosses out spontaneity.

The night of this event our kiddos are ready to visit Grandma, yet continuously asking a million questions. “When will you be back? Where are you going? Why can’t we go? Why do you need time alone? What happens if you don’t make it back in time? Is there a number we can call if your phone doesn’t work and we need you?” Easily we answer a few of these and others not so much. These questions I feel are somewhat normal and some because of secondary PTSD. I don’t hear my nieces and nephews ask most of these questions or my friend's children when I am babysitting them. Maybe my kiddies are just really nosey. They love going to Momos as long as they know Mom and Dad are just going to be waiting for them to come back home. Maybe they just can’t stand the thought of us having fun without them!



The evening kicked off with a bit of anxiety and a bunch of anticipation. The twenty-one question game from our babies certainly didn’t help calm these feelings. Date night isn’t a common word in our house, especially one we didn’t plan at all. When we arrived not knowing the itinerary at all. We met up with our friends (which, I might add is still a fresh relationship) and made our way inside. We took pictures, and not just selfies, someone else was actually handling the camera! We took our seats and had a lovely meal. We enjoyed some great music, played trivia (our team won!), got to know a little more about our friends and even met some new ones. Both of us full of smiles and laughter the entire time.

After the night had wrapped up, we get in the car questioning each other on why we don’t do this more often and why do we allow ourselves to get so intensely wound up about it. We truly must do this more often. We took hours going over preparing for this event that was a mere two hours plus the car ride alone. But I am so glad we did. We both realized we need to be more intentional about our bond. (Not the first time we have come to this obvious conclusion.) It is one that hasn’t been broken through all of the trials, and it is one that we need to take better care of. Our time alone together as just Mr. and Mrs. Mullen is more precious than any jewel, and we need to polish it.

I share this in hopes that another busy caregiver may take the chance to accept a date night. No matter the effort it takes to put into attending, it is worth the time you get to have just being Wifey; a hat that can get dusty and may sometimes feel a little tight.