Please Time slow Down

So, the day finally came and went... My son left for boot camp on Monday. (Well, actually, we dropped him off at his recruiter's office to leave.) We took him out for a final lunch, hugged him, said our “see you soon,” and then pulled away. You would think I would be good at this. I’ve done it so many times sending my husband off to war. There is something very different when it is your child, even though I know he is in a safe place... it’s just SO different.

I think I probably have a bit of PTSD myself and saying goodbye is a trigger for me. The last time I said goodbye to my husband I never saw “him” again or at least the same him. I heard from my son on Tuesday night for a short 25-second call. When that call ended... I cried. Hearing the yelling in the background did me in, and sent memories spiraling through me of how scared I was for my first day in boot camp. My heart breaks thinking that he may be feeling the same way.  I wanted nothing more than to call him yesterday and see how his day was. He told me he would be able to call again in 3 weeks and that he will write soon.

Now, I wait! The same way I waited when my husband was deployed. I sleep holding my phone so I know I will wake up if it rings. I check the mailbox every day in anticipation waiting for a letter. I keep track of the days on the calendar, counting down the days until he is done.

For the most part, not much has changed at home except for my oldest daughter who is 9. Her big brother is her best friend so she has been having some rough days. I got her a special notebook to start writing letters and a calendar to mark off the days. So here we are at the start of a long 9 weeks although I have done this before, for much longer times even. I am so proud of my son for making this choice, especially after he has seen what happened with his dad. I know my husband is very proud too. On the flip side though, I feel 20 years older knowing I am old enough to have a son in the military...please time slow down!