5 Things You Should Know About Caregivers

• Our backbones are made of steel.

Sure, you may have heard many of us complain about the care our veteran needs but aren't getting. Don’t mistake this by thinking we’ve settled for failure.  It's likely that we’ve spent hours on the phone, talked to numerous “professionals,” argued our point relentlessly, filled out tons of paperwork, we’ve cried about it… maybe laughed about how ridiculous it all seems, but we continue to FIGHT.  We are advocates. We weren’t trained to advocate for health care, mental care, or physical therapies, we are forced to learn the system, normally during the most stressful times in our lives.

• Anxiety is a part of our everyday life.

We’ve just learned ways to deal with our anxiety (sometimes. Other times, we build up until we explode.) We may have tried medications, some we’ll need for the entirety of our lives.  We would exercise more if time permitted. We would sleep more if time permitted.  Time never permits. Ever.  We are always going.

• Just because we may work from home does NOT mean we are always free.

Actually, we’re never free.  And when we are, we’d rather be locked up in a quiet room of peace or catching up on the sleep we have deprived ourselves from.  If we are lucky enough to find work from home employment, then it’s very likely our heart and dedication gained from care-giving always rubs off on our career, and Well, just like everyone else- We strive to be all we can be. Just Let Us. Don’t get irritated when we say, “NO, I can’t help you today, I have things to do.” We REALLY do have more things to accomplish than the time in our day is going to allow. Be patient. We’re trying to grow in ways we never thought we’d have too.

• We are untrained medical professionals.  

That’s right. Most of us have zero training in the medical field, yet still know how to give shots, take vitals, care for wounds, we’re (unprofessional) pharmacists, wheelchair mechanics, psychiatrists-  you name it and we’ve probably done it.

• We care more for others than we do ourselves.

Ask a caregiver the last time they did something completely for themselves. Chances are they won’t remember.  No matter how many times we’re told and preached to about caring for ourselves, we will ALWAYS put our family first. We are caregivers, but don’t forget we are also spouses, Moms, Dads, Children, Siblings etc. We know and understand how important our health is, but we get so wrapped up in making sure everyone else is okay that we lose sight of our own needs.  Our own health issues, dental treatments, and medical care gets put on the back burner until we’re forced to deal with it and then we do the best we can.

No matter how much love exists, caring for another human being is a difficult, sometimes overwhelming task, especially when in the past we are so used to be cared for by that person.  When the roles changes, our lives change.  Please don’t judge us for sometimes being unsocial hermit crabs.  We really are trying. Bring us a coffee and a little encouragement and remind us that WE ARE CARED FOR.

Ideas from our Caregiver Support Group on how YOU can show appreciation to our Military caregivers:

“Make dinner, a real hug, a card in the mail, an hour of fix it tasks... Most days, just hearing that someone sees how hard I'm trying would be enough to give me strength to carry on another week or more.”

“Where to start?  Our friends/neighbors/church have been so helpful! Assembling medical equipment (shower chairs, walkers, etc...), picking up mail/packages, moving snow, feeding cats while we’re away, sharing extra garden produce, bringing dinner after surgery, changing my flat tire, etc...   I rarely *ask* for help, so I’m so thankful when someone offers something specific like “can we grab your mail?” Or “can I drop off dinner this week?”. The “little” things make a huge difference, when my family averages 22 appointments each month”

“Letting me vent to them”

“An hour of fix-it tasks! That would be a tremendous help for us as something is always broken or needing replaced around here.”

How have you shown a caregiver appreciation? If you’re a caregiver, how have you been shown appreciation?  Let us know in the comments!