Answers hit us hard. Yes, it really IS that bad... not only for the veteran, but it also affects each of us as family members all in different ways. I often feel I am spread way too thin. I now make sure to TAKE time for myself. I cannot express that to you enough- It's what will keep you hoping and not let you lose your balance for all.
Nathan has been away for a week. His last few days here were rough. He was so anxious about going and the unknown. It was not enjoyable. This is common for people dealing with PTSD.
My kids miss their dad. I wish they had the insight to know that even for a short while, he will come home in a better state of mind which overall will give them a better-quality connection with him. One of them gets it, my 15-year-old. She helps make the in-between time fun and peaceful to pass their time. At ages 4 and 6, the others do not get it. They are only missing their dad.
School is still in session in upstate NY so they are ready and we are off. They like that the routine of our house is still the same. For me, I forgot how much needs to be done and take no breaks. I am tired. I am hopeful that next week will bring energy and organization. I have planned a team of great people to come in all month and set my house to run the most efficient way possible. No one better than my aunt who is known to be the queen of loving to clean…really boggles my mind that that is a thing. Apparently, it is not in my DNA. It all gets done but enjoying it is NOT my relationship with cleaning. Beyond that, they are coming two more times to set up my downstairs to an environment that the kids can have space to relax when Nathan is not relaxed. It is a very accurate statement that when you’re ready to move to the next stage- your clutter shows how you are dealing with what's happening around you. If I had to use only one word to describe mine, scattered would truthfully be it. I am ready to rid my environment of it. A real sign of growth here.
For the ladies to come, first I had to keep up with having only my set of hands for day to day tasks as well as get through some piles of items no longer needed. We are moving from last day of preschool with the last child to kindergarten Here We Come!!! Since I always speak of finding the joy, this is the last month I will pay for preschool ever again. Milestone moment! (No, I am not sad because she is over the top excited to go to school with her brother so for now until September, I am ok)
Surprise two. I had a hectic day. I knew I was not going to get everything done. Appointment, meetings, school drop off, pick-up at three different times, all the kid's activities and dinner. SHOOT! DINNER! Normally, I cook healthy but this week- whatever got on the table quick and cleaned quick won. You can’t win all the battles. My neighbor was getting home at the same time I was and she said she had a surprise for me, and to come over for it. My thought was I love you neighbor, but I do not have the time today. I did not say that. I told her I needed a few minutes and would stop in.
I knocked at her door and she had found a new recipe she knew I would love and had gone shopping for her dinner and mine. This is like winning the lottery for the mom with no time. She helped make a delicious pasta dish with homemade sauce, basil spinach, and even low cheese remembering that my oldest can’t eat a lot of it. Fresh bread and a beautiful salad on the side. We talked and meal-prepped. It took less than 20 minutes working together and NO mess...WHAT? There is a heaven on earth. She insisted clean-up was on her. She said she doesn’t always understand everything I go through, but she does understand how to be a great friend and what it takes to be a mom. I was able to eat with my kids and have an extra hour to hang out and play. They got my undivided attention, and that is what is most important. What a gift to receive! I truly understand the phrase, "It takes a village to raise a child." We made it through Week One and even had a great video conference with Daddy. Technology sometimes can be so wonderful.
-Melissa J, Heroes Thanking Heroes Representative
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