At first, we never used resources available for veteran families. Honestly, it is mainly because looking at my
husband, nothing appears to be wrong with him. We did not want to take away from
other people that needed it more. Then, life really turned upside down in our
home and required us to lean on such kind of help. The first time we were told “No,”
it was discouraging. They transferred us to state level. That person asked how
we got in contact with him because this was not part of his job but after
learning more, he felt obligated to help us. After a couple of days, he called
with an apology that his organization was not going to help but he was embarrassed because we did meet their guidelines and he felt we were truly the type
of family they were set up for. He gave me the CEO’s direct number. I called and
spoke with him. He was very cold and told me that this was not from deployment
or PTSD. At the time, we were just discovering what PTSD was going to take over
in my husband and in our home. I got off the phone in tears. (Even though I am
a girl I almost never cry at these situations.) I figured out the things that we
needed help with, all on my own, and moved on. Until Nathan’s 1st
suicide attempt. It was very cold and snowy and close to Christmas with 3
children in the house and him unable to work. I began doing my own research and
found a handful of places I could call. Every organization was at max capacity
for helping since it was 3 weeks before the holidays. I always ask, “Is there
another organization you know of that may be willing to help?” See, our family
is Army National Guard. I have been told, “Thank you for your service, however you
are part time.” I asked questions because my mind did not understand.
Basically, we as a family serve. Our soldier goes in to
combat and comes home a combat veteran wearing the same uniform, having done
the same job but does have base close. “Boots down” shows signs of a larger
war being battled at home with PTSD amongst other things. Others can receive
help but we can not because he is considered “part- time.” I called the
Coalition to Salute America's Heroes. I left a message. A little while later,
someone called back. She had an accent and was very kind. She listened and placed me
in touch with other people within the organization. In the mean-time, she gave
me resources that might help. The Coalition moved
mountains to help my family. I needed help right away while he was in the
hospital and before the magic of Christmas for little kids did not show up.
They talked to our VA, they got letters, they did everything they could to get
the information needed to help us. Like any business, paperwork is important
but they went above and beyond. Since they have Veterans working on their team,
the next person I spoke with had been stationed here nearby. It is not the most
military friendly community and it does not have a lot of places that will
help. He could explain that to them. My family was assisted above and beyond
our expectations. Our bill deadlines were met, we had household supplies,
groceries, and they made sure our kids had a lovely Christmas. They told me
about the Heroes Thanking Heroes program where I could work from home. They encouraged
me to call back when Nathan got squared away with the VA process. Six months
later, I did. They put me right to work. My team lead told me about the
Coalition’s (R2R) Road to Recovery conference. We filled out an application and
were accepted to attend. We were overwhelmed with how much thought was placed
into the whole event. From a great location to what each family needed to
attend, it was all well-planned out. With all the information, organizations
and panels in place to inform us in all areas moved us much farther ahead in
our journey to find “normal.” I really could talk all day about it. My kids
still do… they even showered us with many nice things and moments to take home.
One organization that presented really caught our attention.
When they played a video and the speaker gave a testament of veterans just like
Nathan. He is an introvert. In a crowd of over 100, Nathan got up from our
table. I thought he was anxious and needed
to leave but what was being spoken was something he needed to hear. He went
over and talked with the people and brought information back. It has been
sitting in our house now over a year. This year has been another tough year for
him, the prior year was much better. He came across the card again. He said, “What
I am doing is not working, there must be more for me.” He called The Rocky Mountain
Hyperbaric Association. Someone called him the very next day. They must have
had a cancelation. An opening is ready for February and he took it.
He hung up the phone and then had a huge anxiety attack. He
said he could not go. When I asked what he was worried about, he explained the
timing was not good, he did not want to leave school, and asked that I please
call them. Okay… I called and asked about other options explaining that he
really needed to try this so they found a spot that worked for him. He will be
leaving all of June instead. He has coping therapy paired with his treatment
there. He has a great house to stay at and they give a recreational pass to a
places close. We are working on finding a plane ticket for him. He was worried
about missing the kids and myself especially since it will be Father’s Day during
his time away. Someone suggested to try Luke’s wings. At over $700 a plane
ticket X 4 people, I do not have that
room in our budget yet. They help fly mil/vet families to medical places to see
their family member getting treatment. They heard our story, listened, and will
be graciously providing tickets. He will work harder on himself after seeing us
and that is what we need for him to do. For himself, and for us. I listened to
the ladies I work with talk and finally I am okay asking for help when it is
really needed. We as a family are excited for a new option for recovery. This
would not have been possible without the Coalition’s mission to help make this
journey as smooth as possible. They feel like home and are willing always to go
the extra mile. Every non-profit has their own unique mission. Figure out what
your need is, look for organizations that do such things and know there are
people that really do want to help. Who knows? … You may even meet as strangers
but leave as family. I know that has been my experience.
-Melissa J.
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