Finding the Time, Sometimes Making the Time.

Self-care is something that is so important but seems to always be on the bottom of the “to-do” list.  Being a caregiver, wife, and mother plus extended family with serious illnesses as well, it is very easy to just keep trucking along. There is always a situation or someone who needs help. I am always going above and beyond because they rely on me, as it should be.
However, it is also very easy to burn out at that rate. I just recently found I was a few months past this when I should have taken time to reflect and quiet the fast pace my life tends to travel on. Getting the babysitters a plan A ready, and a plan B (just in case) can be taxing. In the end, when I know all of my people are well taken care of, that is the mindset I can relax in. I made my plans, booked everything at the best rates from the budget I had saved and was off before the sun came up. I did not go that far. Far enough to have space with no schedule or people that needed my attention. I tried staying away from technology… it worked for the most part but since my kids also like to stay connected, I checked in with them a limited amount. Placing boundaries are hard but at the end of the three days, I know it was worth it. I talked to a lot of new people. I ate at some amazing restaurants with no rush, appetizer all the way to desserts and coffee. This was definitely a luxury since nothing could cut my adventure short and I was not a “prisoner” to time.  I was around 5-6 hours away from home, just far enough. There was water in my back ground since it brings me peace. A little shopping at a local amazing spice/herb and tea place. I really love to cook new recipes. Only this time, no rushing around- I can read and smell at my leisure. I even pushed myself to do a new activity.  I was well past my comfort zone. I have an immense all compassing fear of heights. Before this particular challenge, there was a time when I made it to the open part of the Statue of Liberty. That is a moment in life you do not get to see all the time and my family all wanted to go out to the deck. The kids all went with my husband, Nathan, to the edge. I took in the view clutched close to the wall. I remember my son, who was 3 at the time, really wanting me to go and look. I just could not make my feet move.
I decided to try to climb the rock wall. I did not make it too far up before I descended back down with my heart racing… I could not do it. I challenged myself to look at what aspects I did not like or that made me uncomfortable. Then, I quickly made up my mind to try the other side. It was four sets of logs with metal rings for your feet. I climbed up the first one, and then on the second, my feet placement slipped and the wind flipped me around. I had to let go and hang two stories up in the air while they straightened out the climber for me to continue. Just let go. Yeah right! I was unsure my fingers would even move at that point from my grip, but they did. I let go and just maybe of a lot more than just my grip I trusted everyone was in the right place to really grab me from falling. I smiled knowing that I have made many great friends along the way and they always have me, even when I don’t have myself. That day, God showed me that He is bigger than my mountains. I was able to finish climbing and touch the top of the rock, 43 feet in the air, equivalent to 4 stories. I showed myself that I can and will continue to move all the mountains that I have been, listening when I need a break and even in those moments, knowing I am never alone.
Please… if it is music you love, take time to listen. If you’re a reader, choose an extra book to read. Love the open roads? Take the drive. If food makes you happy, cook that dish. Maybe change is what you need then conquer some part of that fear. You cannot help others if you are not at your good or best. Self-care to better one’s self is not selfish. It is an investment in prolonging and protecting the quality of care you’re able to give. I am important too. I came home a little changed and much more at ease and better equipped to handle the hard stuff. Let’s face it… Military life is difficult on the whole family unit. A Veteran’s life is even tougher. Make time to find and do the things that give you peace.
-Melissa J.