A Good Night’s Rest

All the signs are visible. We are back to the moment where things in my house get ready to go downhill quickly for my husband. He is increasingly forgetting thing, he is pacey, and I am waking up at night to noises down stairs. He is not sleeping at an increasing rate and these are the days that equate to life or possible death.

On a good day, my husband may get 7 hours of sleep. In one of these moments we’re having now, he averages about 3-4 hours of sleep every couple of days. Then, it triggers war nightmares which makes climbing out of the cycle almost impossible.
In those moments, our whole household responsibilities are left up to me which includes 3 different school schedules for 3 very different age groups. Not to mention, all my husband’s needs, medicine, eating, doctors, reminders to take a shower, (yes, not to belittle him but in these moments, it seems his care becomes as time consuming as my children.) Then, there is the matter of keeping a household of never ending cleaning, laundry, and daily chores to run smoothly left solely to me and I also work from home.
But…this is not a story of poor me. It’s a situation that can possibly make one feel isolated and lonely in the moment but I can assure you, I never have. I work with an amazing group of people who understand these moments. I could not work because I literally had people out searching for my husband so our day did not end in his suicidal thoughts taking his life.
The month did not end with a “Sorry you’re going through that.” It ended with people listening, telling me their thoughts, sending me encouraging messages as they saw me working. Most importantly, it ended with a team of kindness pairing together to research, budget, and help me find the much-needed item for my house… black-out darkening shades. Hopefully, this will be what keeps him from becoming the dreaded number I fear most. He made it home from war, yet PTSD is by far his toughest battle he faces. I am most grateful for a work family instead of a work team. We never feel alone in this battle.
-Melissa J.