Jennifer Urbany - How We Celebrated Our Independence

We live in a small little town here in North Carolina. Nothing really goes on around here. But, every year we have a big fireworks show that goes on at the rec center. We have lived here for 9 years now and we have only once been to the big 4th of July celebration.  Last year will probably be the only year we go. My husband, Donald, a wounded veteran, was ok for the early parts of the celebration. There were few people, we had a nice little spot in the back so we could all see the big fireworks, and he was comfortable. This was a good thing.
Then as it got darker people started flooding in. Groups were setting their chairs up around us, smoking, talking loudly, and just being inconsiderate. The main reason we ventured out to this big show was for our children. We wanted them to have the same experiences as other children, and be awed by the bright lights and loud booms that accompany a large fireworks display. The show was set to last for about an hour and around thirty minutes into the show, Donald started getting antsy. He was set off by the unfortunate combination of smoke, loud noises, bright lights and a large crowd.  Donald was injured when a car bomb exploded during his time in Baghdad, so a big “BOOM” was the last thing he had heard before he was knocked unconscious by the explosion. So it’s easy to understand his anxiety, a veteran, severely injured listening to the same sound he heard before he lost his eye and suffered a head injury. These triggers are a sure fire way to cause a manifestation of PTSD. Despite Donald’s anxiety levels rising we decided to try to stick it out for our children who were clearly enjoying the show. Donald would put up with just about anything for our children.
Finally, it was time to leave, Donald, already on edge from the fireworks, agoraphobia and social anxiety was a wreck. Donald’s thin hold on his temper began to give way as people cut him off while we were attempting to leave and the stresses of the night reached a breaking point for him. It was then, in the crowds of people making their way home we decided we would never again attend such a public 4th of July celebration.

This year, so we would be able to control the environment, we decided to buy our own fireworks and celebrate at home with our neighbor. Donald was in his element as he grilled our dinner and it was more food than our family of 6 could have ever hoped to eat! Ribs, burgers, steaks, hotdogs, and corn of the cob. We also had pasta salad and watermelon and a veggie tray. Dinner was so delicious and I was so proud of Donald, I praised him with every bite I took. Then as it got dark we took our cache of fireworks and set them off in the street. My boys and the neighbor’s little boy were all running around with sparklers, watching my husband set off the fireworks. It was an amazing time. Something that I hope will turn into a tradition with my family. There were no unexpected explosions, no anxiety, no anger, or unexpected triggers just a lot of good food, a lot of love, some beautiful fireworks and a very happy family. I could not have asked for a better 4th of July.  I feel like my family really celebrated our independence and our freedoms in the best way possible this year.