Easter - Lacy Mullen

In our home Easter is full of excitement, and concern. Just like any other holiday Easter throws us off schedule, thus causing chaos in every possible way. We love having all the family time and being able explaining our beliefs to our children, that's always great! I love playing "dress up" with my kiddos, I love being able to take pictures of my most precious creations all dressed up.  The thrown off routine means I have to exercise more patience.  The constant reminders of what is happening next ,and the "Well, we will be late if y'all don't kick it into gear!", seems to become the number one phrase. With such an schedule packed with events, there is always the chance of a PTSD trigger, no matter how prepared you attempt to be. That's where the concern comes in, our children know, with the exception of our soon to be 3 year old who happens to be stuck to Daddy like glue, that there is a possibility of leaving any outing at the drop of a pin because Daddy might start feeling sick. This is never an issue for them, they love him very much and all have their own understanding of what is going on. Unfortunately, this is not always as easy for those who are at events we are attending. Many of our family, friends, and acquaintances begin to ask a million "why" questions, or make statements like "But, y'all just got here!". I understand they do not live it so, it is impossible to comprehend the need to rush off. I do not have any qualms with them because of their curiosity It isn't because we do not like them or the activities going on, In fact we hate it, more then they do. We do not want to end our children having a blast for the day, making memories and bonding with others. We do not want to end catching up or getting to know anyone. My husband doesn't want to feel like everyone is looking at him like he is rude because he looks fine on the outside, so they think he must just be being selfish. Nonetheless, there are always the "why" questions, which I would love to answer by the way, over the phone or in a later or in person, because the affects of PTSD and TBI are just not common knowledge, I still learn more everyday! On the other hand, there are certain people, that even at a later time because I don't want to explain things to because, they ask things like, "Isn't there medication for that?", or possibly it is that they seem as though they are so sorry that the children and I are "stuck" with this because it's such a pity, then there is the "I couldn't live like that, I don't know how you do it.", statement that really irritates me. I love my husband unconditionally; yes, there are things that have changed since we were married but, nothing will ever change the love I have for him. When you are truly committed to someone things like PTSD, TBI, and even the physical therapy I do with him, seem so little compared to the strength of the bond you feel and experience. Things that have been forged through blood, sweat, and tears! I guess what I'm really trying to say is sometimes it isn't the intent of your words and actions, rather the impact of them that you should be concerned with. I do not believe that those who I talk to that respond with such things intend to hurt my feelings, or upset me, sadly many times that is the impact. I don't like feeling like I need to play defense when I am trying to educate you about my life, that you asked about in the first place. Then again maybe these feelings are more of the sneaky affects that second hand PTSD has had on me. I know this was a bit raw emotionally and I thank you for reading it. I am hopeful it creates more understanding for those who have some very real, not so visible wounds.