Worth Fighting For!

Right now, I'm sitting at the table in the cabin that we love so much. He's out mowing the lawn. As I sit here, I'm thinking about him. Thinking about our marriage. We're here at this cabin because we're fighting to save our marriage.

Do I love him? I do, and he loves me. We just fell into a routine of not communicating with each other, dancing around what we need to say. Which caused us built-up tension and stress. Sometimes, it's not easy to talk to your partner, especially when they're going through something of their own that they don't share with you!

I don't push for details about his time in service. I'm always ready to listen when he wants to talk to me about it.

For the last week and a half, things have just been really off with us. It gets old, crying in the dark. So, four nights ago, I poured it all out. Every feeling I was feeling, every thought that entered my mind. He knows how I feel now.

Thursday, he called me on my way home from picking up our kids from work, "Honey, let's get away, head up north, and go kayaking. Just you and me, we need time away. Babe, I’m trying." Not going to lie, I teared up! 

I teared up because of the last two words he said, "I'm trying!"

You may not understand why or how just two words can make a person tear up. And that's okay. It's our love language. After almost 17 years of marriage, I know that "I'm trying" is him fighting for us.

So, here we are in the U.P. at our cousin's cabin. No kids, no tv, no neighbors…just him & me.

Well, we didn't kayak due to the rain. But we did enjoy time together, playing card games, listening to music, and taking long drives and talking, really talking to each other about everything.

We talked about both of our needs and wants, for both of us to be happy! I tend to put my husband on the back burner; I focus on my kids and their needs. Having five kids takes up a lot of my time, and he loves that I love our kids so much and all that I do for them. He just wishes we had more time for us.
He tends to get brassy with me when he feels neglected, and it causes me to not talk to him because I can't read his mind.

I wrote last month about him getting his dream boat. He loves it and has been out on it 12 times. It's something that he wants me to do with him. I love fishing, but I’ve always fished off the dock. So, I told myself to embrace this with him, love every minute on the water with him. Well, I tried three times. However, the water makes me sick; after two hours, I'm suffering with nausea.

I'll keep trying, because I know it means a lot to him when I go with him and because I want to spend that time with him.

Our overall outcome from our weekend away is that we love each other, we love our family, and we want to be happy. So, we made a promise to make more time for each other and do something for us each month (no kids). We need to communicate with each other more and be more attentive to each other's needs.

I'm his anchor, as he is mine. Our love is worth fighting for!

Kacy R. Wife of Charles R. USMC Veteran