The Coalition has been with us since very early in our marriage--- when the invisible wounds of war dominated our young love. Without faith in God, I'm not sure how we would have been able to make it through. The days were tough, and the nights were long. I was only beginning to learn what it meant to be a wife, a caregiver, and the biggest cheerleader and advocate for my husband while preserving his strength and dignity as the leader of our home.
We were not the only ones navigating marriage with both visible and invisible wounds of war. We attended the Coalition's Road to Recovery, where I discovered I was not alone in my worries, fears, and daily struggles, and neither was he. With our faith at the center, healing started after several years of swimming upstream and trying to do it without the wisdom and support of our veteran community.
Fast forward almost a decade, and we are still learning how to outdo one another with honor by loving each other well, listening, responding, and growing our intimacy. One thing that's helped us is intentionally working on our marriage. It's too easy to go through the day-to-day: the appointments, work, maintaining a household, family, and friends, and end up exhausted not giving my best to the one God has blessed me with to do life together. We combat the struggle with complacency by seeking ways to invest in our marriage: from coffee/tea dates to snowmobiling to eating a meal together to gardening to a kiss good morning and good night to talking about our hopes and dreams as well as our biggest fears. We still have a lot to work on, but being purposeful with our time has helped.
And while this post is intended for Marriage Week, I also know the reality of a broken marriage as I have been there before. Whether married, single, dating, or engaged, I encourage you to find ways to love those special people in your life: your spouse, significant other, kids, family, and friends.
Back to Marriage Week---
One of our favorite ways we chose to cultivate our marriage was in 2022 when we attended the Heroes Freedom Weekend in Virginia. This retreat was designed to strengthen and nurture marriage with every well-planned detail.
There were ample opportunities to learn ways to communicate and love well through interactive presentations by Dr. Johnny Parker and his amazing wife Lezlyn.
Having fun together is a MUST! And boy, did we have fun. From delicious meals and tours of historic Colonial Williamsburg to enjoying the beautiful hotel grounds to playing a "How Well Do You Know Your Spouse?" style game--- we laughed and smiled more than we had in a while!
Bonding with other veteran couples was one of the many highlights of this trip! Making lifelong friends to help support and encourage our marriage is vital to making our marriage veteran strong! Surrounding yourself with good people is yet another way to protect and refuel your marriage.
We can't thank the Coalition enough for making veteran marriages a priority. In fact, without the tools we learned that weekend, our trip home may have ended in tears, an argument, and PTSD flare-ups. Instead, we were able to implement the skills right away when after boarding and attempting to take off, our flight was returned to the gate and canceled. We were faced with being stranded in New York for days, but we worked together, used our strengths and got a rental car to make it home by the next day!
How will you be intentional in strengthening your relationships this week?
Written By: Tiffany Steinmann, Caregiver, America's Little Helpers Program Manager
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