On May 29th, 2004, my husband’s vehicle was returning from an operation in Ramadi, Iraq, when a car bomb was detonated as they passed. His left leg was torn open by shrapnel, taking out most of his knee in the process. After three weeks of wound care, many surgical washouts, and medication, he ended up losing his leg above the knee due to infection. He also sustained a traumatic brain injury (TBI) when blown out of the vehicle and suffers from PTSD.
I met Jimmy six months after his injury while at Walter Reed, so I don’t have the before-and-after experience that many caregivers do. In the beginning, he showed little to no signs of PTSD, and the effects of his TBI were noticeable, but we had strategies that allowed us to cope and deal with it. Back then, I would’ve never categorized myself as a caregiver. Jimmy was very physically active for the first number of years we were together. He was deeply motivated in his recovery and physical therapy; he would do two marathons in one week on his handcycle and attend other sporting events like the D.A.V. Winter Sports Clinic to go skiing. His PTSD was more situational, along with dealing with nightmares. These were generally managed by simple things like choosing seating arrangements in public places that allowed him to easily monitor his surroundings, and although he had nightmares that made his sleep unrestful, he rarely remembered his dreams once he woke up.
The social and emotional impacts of TBI and PTSD are usually one of the most difficult parts of daily life for veterans, and their families, when they suffer from these conditions. Jimmy’s mood can change in an instant, going from 0-100 mph (and sometimes right back to 0) because of his TBI and PTSD. Jimmy is a quiet, intelligent, and loving guy who will give 110% to any and all of those he loves and cares for. But, over the years, he has become more reserved, less active, and has become more isolated. He has his moments when he is angry, but mostly, he is very flat – it can be challenging for him to get excited about things. This wasn’t always the case; it was a gradual change over the course of several years.
It wasn’t until life slowed down during COVID that I started really noticing how different he had become. We had made a multi-state move just before the pandemic, and Jimmy never returned to work with all of that going on. Not having a job and many things being closed to social gatherings only amplified these changes in him. We have now identified these changes, and are working on addressing them through therapy, making friends through the church to be more social with, and putting plans in place to start looking for things to do – either individually or as a family – such as exercising or going to the park with the kids. For both veterans and caregivers, it is important to be mindful of how the effects and symptoms of living with PTSD and TBIs can change over time and what steps are needed to maintain the best caregiving and self-care treatment plans to help ensure the best quality of life for both the veterans and their families.
Written by: Beth King, Veteran Caregiver
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