A Super Proud Dad

Military kids face challenges and rise above them with resiliency. They know about respect, rules, and care about veterans. Many have a parent or know another veteran who was wounded. For some of our military children, the only reality they know is the reality of the recovery process of a wounded veteran. It can be a challenging experience that may involve confusion, frustration, medications, and symptoms of a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. This can be devastating for the family, and secondary post-traumatic stress disorder is not uncommon among military families.

Life for military kids and families has become even more complicated during these unprecedented times. Living in a true pandemic, a completely new situation for all of us, and an environment full of uncertainty where we are living day to day as adults is very difficult, and I can only try to imagine what it is like for a 14-year-old teen like my daughters. 

As the pandemic came to our shores and the reports of death spanning the globe, there came the abrupt reality life was about to change drastically. Schools quickly went through adjustments to protect our children from this contagious virus. In our home, distance-learning and new house rules were implemented to dissipate the perception that this was going to be nothing more than a bona fide extended vacation. We created a routine where our children needed to be up and ready at 8 am to be on time for their online classes. Everything from math, art, choir, and physical education were taught over the internet. While it was an amazing experience, this new routine came with challenges as everyone was completing their assignments in one place, our home. 

The girls would wake up early in the morning, but once their learnings were complete and all their assignments were finished, they went back to sleep or laid down in their beds. We knew something needed to change, but it took some time for us to figure out what we could do, and by the time we did, the midnight snack routine was well established as an everyday occurrence. Around 12 midnight or 1 am, I would hear the little ones venture downstairs looking for something to eat, and before I knew it, everyone in the family was downstairs. This was a vicious cycle of going to be late, waking up early for distance learning, going back to sleep midday, and being sleepless during the night. Thus, the midnight snack ensued.

Once we realized what was happening and were able to rearrange our schedules so that it was the best possible routine for our family, our home's most beautiful experiences were observed. We built many memories together over time. Our daughters worked together with great creativity and thoughtfulness to adapt card games and Monopoly so that I, who am legally blind, could participate with them in family game nights. We also held family karaoke on Saturday nights and filled a plastic pool on the back porch. With all the positive memories being made together, there was something that blurred the whole picture a little, two of our three daughters were graduates. We wondered, would all their efforts and preparations they looked forward to throughout the school year for a great graduation party even be a possibility this year? 

Sadly, graduation could not be held traditionally at our daughters' school because it could not be safely carried out while complying with the minimum rules of social distancing and sanitation to prevent the spread of the coronavirus. However, the twins did get to participate in the centennial tradition that consists of ringing a bell tower, symbolizing the transition from elementary school to high school.

Through this quarantine time, we never received a single action of reproach or demand from our girls despite the fact in our house we were practicing social distancing while their social networks demonstrated a behavior very different from what we were implementing in our home. Our daughters' friends walked to the beaches of our city and frequented the drive-thru to buy Starbucks for themselves. To us, it was inconceivable to expose our family that way. Other friends coordinated playdates and gatherings on their social networks... and not a single criticism from our daughters. Not one tantrum.

That is why I consider myself to be the proudest father in the world because despite my physical and soul wounds suffered in war, I feel that God has blessed me infinitely with the family that He has given me and with the daughters that He has allowed me to have. Despite the fact that our daughters do not have a father who can sit down with them every day to review the assignments because of my blindness, how I help is limited, and their mother is still learning English, they pressed on through the school year. Throughout the years, our role has been to motivate our girls to achieve good grades with minimal supervision, and this year was no different. Our three daughters ended a challenging and uncertain school year strongly by making the Honor Roll in the 3rd and 4th quarter, and one of the twins earned Academic Excellence in math. I’m sure my story is not unique as a veteran and parent in the way I am proud of my children because of who they are.

God is great and allows me to live through these events, and that provides me with the peace and tranquility that gives me the confidence to continue pushing forward on my personal road to recovery.