In Sickness and Health

In Sickness and Health

I recently came to the hard realization that I’m just NOT as young as I once was.

Young at heart and spirit, Sure. But, Physically? The struggle is getting REAL. It hit me like a ton of bricks, just a few mornings ago, when I tried to stand up out of bed. I began to think, “What in the world have I done?”

The day before was pretty calm. I had only lifted the manual chair into the truck a couple of times, nothing out of the ordinary.  And, then the day before --- Crap! That’s it! THE DAY BEFORE…

After misplacing an important paper that I desperately needed, I tore my house apart looking for the said piece of paper. Of course, I finally located it. It was crammed in the middle of my work notebook that had been carried off by my 9-year-old for her doodling.

Next—Cleanup time!
My life is very chaotic, much like that of a tornado you never foresee coming. This may be the reasoning for my obsession with organization. I can’t ever find anything though I’m sure I put it right in “it’s place.” I quickly got to work, organizing the disaster I’d created and before I knew it, I’d picked up and scrubbed every floor in my house.

My peace of mind is what led to this excruciating pain I was feeling in my back that morning. Slowly, I tried to stretch it out, only to realize that certain movements just weren’t going to happen for a while, at least until after my daily dose of coffee.

I glimpse over at my peacefully sleeping husband, his war-torn body flung out on top of the blankets. His only remaining arm was covering his eyes from the sunlight beaming through the blinds. It’s that moment that I once again count my blessings that I woke up with legs to stand on.

I made a promise to my dear husband- In sickness and health.
I vowed I’d be there for him when I had no idea the extent of that statement and what meaning it would have in my life. I meant it though, and he knows it.

My morning of pain served as a reminder of the extreme importance of me taking care of ME. If I am unable, who will care for him?

When I take care of myself, I am taking care of my family too. Carving out time during this tornado called Life is difficult, but I’ve lived through days when I had forgotten about me- The time spent overcoming those days was much more challenging.

One day, there may come a time when I will no longer be able to lift wheelchairs, help my triple amputee husband transfer, or even worse- I may lose my title of ‘the girl behind the chair’ and become ‘the girl IN the chair.’

The thought startled me and caused me to crawl up next to my sleeping husband, now stirring from my restlessness.
I have to ask him, “Babe, what would we do if MY legs stopped working one day?”

His simple response… “Well, I guess I’d give you rides in my lap everywhere.”

We laugh, and I relax, easing the pain of my aching body. In Sickness and Health, I sure do love this man.

-    By Ashlee Williams, HTH Social Media Director & Veteran Caregiver