Ashlee Williams - Road to Recovery 2016

My family was given the opportunity to attend the 2016 Road to Recovery conference in Orlando, FL.  The Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes went above and beyond to ensure that we were able to have an incredible week. Words truly do not express how grateful we are for this experience, the life-changing friendships, and opportunities that we will forever remember and embark on.

Life isn’t always sunshine and flowers for us Veteran families.  Typically, I am very hesitant to agree to go on any kind of vacation or trip away from home. 

Will the place be accessible? How will we get the power wheelchair from place to place? What if the power wheelchair stops working? And the lift… what if the short in the lift decides to magically reappear?  A WEEK- How can I possibly pull my child out of school for a week? Babysitters for the pets, and the home…. Sooo much to do.

These are just a few of the excuses that I create in my head as to why I shouldn’t apply my family for a conference such as this.  There’s just so much to it.

We have an interesting story you see. To many people, it is a story of triumph.  To us- it is our real life.  My husband, J.D. stepped on a bomb in Afghanistan.  Most people would have given up on life after losing 3 limbs but not my stubborn infantryman. Oh no. Giving up is not apart of his vocabulary.  He’s way too hard headed for that.  No, instead he perseveres and proves that he can and he will. 

So….when my excuses started actually flowing out of my mouth to his ears, I might have been better off talking to a brick wall.  We were going to Florida.  The wheelchair AND the lift would be fine.  The school would understand.  The grandparents will watch the house and pets.  Florida it is.  I almost had him talked out of it when I mentioned we would be participating in a peer panel session for 90 other families (his nerves tend to get the best of him).  Through the support and encouragement from my work in the Heroes Thanking Heroes program and previous attendees, we committed.

What an incredible week we had.  My own excuses almost made us miss out on an experience that will no doubt change the course of our lives.  We were able to attend sessions tailored to our own needs and walk away feeling more informed than I have felt in our 6 years post injury.  There were amazing motivational speakers that were able to get through to so many Veterans in the room that may have experienced similar situations.  Not only did we feel empowered from the conference, it was heartwarming to watch as the faces around us were truly beginning to see that there really are people out there that do understand and care. 

Being able to share our own family’s personal experience through the peer panel session was a blessing in disguise.  The nerves in my husband’s pale white face were very noticeable to me but clearly not to those who approached afterwards letting him know what an inspiration he is.  As a couple that have faced their own trials and tribulations, we learned from this session that we should be more apt and willing to share what we have been through with others.  Even if our words help one person, that is enough of a reason. 

At the closing banquet on the final evening of the conference, we were presented with a life-changing iBot motorized wheelchair.  Through the efforts of the Coalition to Salute America’s Heroes & Independence Corps, many doors have been opened for my family and the limitations J.D. faces daily are looking more like possibilities for us now.  He can reach cabinets in our home that he has never seen.  We can take that trip to the beach now because his chair will make it through the sand. We can visit more family because the steps going into their homes aren’t a deal-breaker anymore.  The possibilities are endless and we are so very grateful.

-Ashlee Williams

My thoughts 1/6/17

Traveling to Washington DC will always be an exciting experience for me and my family. It's where my recovery started after being wounded in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom while serving in the United States Army. The freezing cold temperatures and the snow falling in the winter made this time spent in DC very special. My daughters had never seen snow before, we are from, and now live back in Florida. Everything about the snow was new and exciting for them, and they still talk about it to this day.  

While we were on our way back to Florida, the snow was starting to melt. Seeing snow melt felt like everything around me was stopping in space and in time. Since being from Florida, and hardly ever experiencing snow, it was like the general relativity that defines time and space as a continuum was warped by the presence of the energy of the melting snow. Remembering the serenity and feeling of order that the snow was bringing me was gradually declining back to disorder.
Being blind, I rely on other senses and the feelings of my surroundings. Because I have to be so in tune with my surroundings I usually remain calm. Sort of like a tranquility. I was in the Palm Beach International airport on January 06, 2017, only 57.8 miles away from the Fort Lauderdale Airport when the shootings took place. I could feel the the presence of panic throughout the airport as the news reported the unfolding of events happening at an airport that was barely an hour away.  Hearing the panic and whispers of voices all around me talking about the shooting, evacuating travelers, rumors of more shots fired, and that 40 people had been injured turned my usually calm and collected demeanor into that of unsettled confusion.
As a Veteran who has fought for this country to ensure the safety of our people and prevent acts of terror from happening in the United States, it seems that attacks such as this one are becoming increasingly common. When the reality of another terrorist act came into my mind, I couldn't help but think about all my brothers and sisters in arms who have also fought, were injured, and died so we could live in peace in our own country. If we have a strong military, and strong travel securities, why is this happening?
Now a feeling of grief is overpowering me. I'm in disbelief. I have been listening to the news on a radio and they announced that the suspect, the person shooting, was a Latino veteran...I'm a Latino veteran. How can someone just like me, who took the same oath I did to defend and uphold the constitution and defend the citizens of this country to something so heinous. It was like being kicked in the gut. So many people who aren't from this country, join the United States Military, serve the United States, and make this great country their home. How could this one person that I have something in common with, hurt this country. 

Too sad to realize what's going on around me anymore, I'm trying to figure out answers about how this could even happen again, in an airport of all places. TSA wont let you on a plane with a bottle of water that you didn't buy IN the terminal, you have to practically take everything off to do through metal detectors to even get into the terminals, there are so many security measures in place so people can't get into the terminals with weapons or dangerous substances, how was this shooting even possible?
When the whole ordeal was over, the FBI allowed this guy to turn himself in after telling them he heard voices and other things telling him he needed to join ISIS, he basically got a slap on the wrist having his gun retained for 330 days because he had no actual terrorist ties. But this is terrorism! It doesn't have to be ISIS or any other group of "terrorists" for something like this to be terrorism!
Where do they draw the line? This person was receiving treatment for PTSD and is a war veteran, but he also has 13 charges of domestic violence in the span of one year, and is in fact on the watch list for possible Islamic Radicalization, how was he even able to walk into the airport with a gun, let alone get past security? Someone like you and me would have to be strip searched, and have to have a metal detector ran up and down us, but this one individual who already is suspicious gets though, how does this even happen?

Time to Change

Road to Recovery as I read about the program, sounded like it might be helpful to Nathan, my veteran husband, and our family.  After asking a few questions and talking over the benefits our family could experience with someone whom already had the experience offered to them, we decided to apply.

Later in fall we received a call that we were chosen to go. I planned ahead as best I could but traveling causes anxiety for my husband, who struggles with PTSD. He paces, he talks himself out of going, and he yells a bit. I remind him he's been telling the kids for three months that we are going and all the tickets had been paid for and the arrangements have been made. I let him get himself ready as much as he can, and I take care of getting the house and the pets taken care of, and making sure the kids have all the work from school that their teachers sent home with them, and getting myself ready as well. These tasks are manageable with my coffee and my super mom/wife powers, and of course my husband helps where he can. 

The morning we are supposed to leave comes, the car is loaded, and we are off to Florida for the Road to Recovery Conference. We made it to Florida leaving behind nine degree weather for a beautiful 79 degrees. We arrived a few days early so we rented a car and did some sight seeing, a few other things we have wanted to do, and the most important thing was keeping Nathan calm, so we had a few days before the conference and a few days after the conference as a buffer before traveling, sometimes someone with PTSD really have a hard time flying and traveling. Leaving their comfort zone usually isn't very easy. We also wanted to get all that this experience had to offer.

The resort was beautiful and the family suite was so big! We just could not get over the beautiful weather. It's not often we get to wear shorts and short sleeves in December!The kids were happy and Nate had time to settle. .I just knew that my kids were going to get so much joy from this trip. We settled in and and did some exploring, we even took a splash in the pool. We also went to the Magic Kingdom, Disney World, as a family. This trip wasn't a part of the Conference, but it was something our family wanted to do together. Our little girl was so excited to meet Minnie Mouse, she was just over the moon elated that day! 

We also wanted to take a family trip to Sea World, so I called the local USO to see if they had any discounted tickets. We had to keep some kind of budget being there a few extra days. Later I received a call back from the USO saying that they didn't have any tickets available. But the volunteer I spoke to wanted to make sure that my family did get to go to Sea World. Her husband requested that we met him at the gates of Sea World and there he gave us tickets, fast passes, tickets for the train and to go pet the dolphins and see the sharks. He wanted to make sure that we knew that they were so thankful for the service and sacrifices that our service members have given that he wanted to pay for the entire experience. He wished us a merry Christmas and left us to enjoy our time at Sea World. Grace of a stranger has a way of shining a bright light through the soul. I checked in with the USO to see if they had tickets as they sometimes do. A family of five means keeping the budget is a must.  Since we took on extra days we took on extra e received a call. The volunteer I spoke with wanted to make sure an amazing thing happen for our family. Her husband called to let us know he would like to meet us at the gate of Sea World. The conference has not even started yet, and we as a family were already having an amazing time in Florida. I touched, fed, and watched animals I have never seen before. Needless to say we left the park smiling.

It was time to check into the conference. As were were checking in I was looking around, the other families, and all the stuff around was just overwhelming and exciting.  We also received a gift bag when we checked in full of goodies for us to use while we were at the conference. While at the conference I met some of the people I work in the Heroes Thanking Heroes program with. I talk to these people so often, and finally I got to put a face with the names. We received Snack packs, and our itineraries, and it was time to get ready for dinner. 

At dinner there was a HUGE surprise for the children! A life sized Optimus Prime came walking into where we were eating and announced "Autobots roll out!" My son, a huge Transformers fan fell out of his chair! He could barely stand up he was so excited! My husband had to help pull him off the floor! This will surely be a memory he will charish for the rest of his life.  

We left Florida with so many joyful moments. Meeting new people, and hearing their stories, hearing guest speakers share their testimony and experts giving advice, and with leads on veteran friendly job opportunities. I personally left with information about a school opportunity available for the very thing I had always wanted to do. My husband left with words of wisdom to face his battle, and new treatment options to help his healing. Things he signed himself up for that he wouldn't usually make the attempt to do. He is ready to try the unexpected, and has learned coping skills to help him live with his injury. I feel like the Road to Recovery gave our family my husband and the kid's father back, and that is much more than I could have ever asked for walking down this road with him. Thank you Coalition to Salute America's heroes for this amazing experience. My husband is still smiling and now we know we have a brighter future to look forward to. 

  

The Road to Recovery Conference - The Alexander Familly

My family and I had the most amazing time at the Road to Recovery Conference. We left feeling renewed and ready to face challenges. My husband and I connected with so many people and made life-long friendships.  Also, our three teenagers made friends with other children their age that can relate to them that will hopefully will be a life-time connection. None of us wanted to leave, we wanted to stay and be with all our new friend until the very last minute possible. The time we spent at the Road to Recover conference brought our family closer and was a great time full of fun and helpful information.

This event was so packed full of valuable information and resources to get you on and keep you on the right track. The breakout sessions, which were meetings designated to a specific topic, and the job fair were just what we needed. The speakers tht had attended were absolutely wonderful and really put things in perspective for my family. We loved hearing the other stories, and enjoyed sharing ours. We are truly grateful for being able to attend the conference. It’s a once in a life time experience that I recommend to other wounded veteran’s and their families should they ever have the opportunity.